See gummy, not a Jackhammer in sight. 
I thought I’d heard My Name mentioned …I’m doing ok Darlin and happy to see You are too,
23h
Quote Spitfirtw:
“Jembo hung on for two hours I posted, then he disappeared, Da Ya think I got BO?” 
Sorry about that Spitty, but I don’t hang around anymore, one can get into trouble that way.
A teenage aunt who used to mind me brother and me had BO in a big way, very sweaty girl, and when she took off her blouse it multiplied, it was woeful. 
All I do now is look at posts I find interesting in the open sections, then I log in, post me offering and bugger off to the pub.
Badges, tags, debates, likes, and levels and the devil knows what don’t interest me.
Philosophy is just a fancy word for giving your opinion on what you think life is all about, fact is nobody knows nor ever will, therefore everyone’s a philosopher, nowadays I couldn’t give a rats arse why we are here.
However there was a time in my prime when I was very curious about the mystery of life.
I was earning good money then and decided to take a trip to Tibet to ask the Dalai Lama the answer to a question.
I had heard that every Sunday he holds an audience with paying tourists for a question and answer session.
Now there is no punch line in this story, philosophers don’t do jokes or punch lines.
The queue was nearly half a mile long, finally it came to my turn, I handed the equivalent of a tenner and a note with my question on it to his huge assistant who stood beside him, mostly for translation.
My written question was “What is the meaning of life?”
He scribbled something down on a bit of paper and put it into a tiny blue envelope, then the big lad shouted in Tibetan “Next!!”
I struggled not to open the envelope until I got home to Dublin, then after dinner that Sunday I sat down with a glass of beer and a smoke to see what was in the blue envelope.
I was disgusted to see it was written in Tibetan, I was lost if I knew anyone from Tibet who could translate it for me, Dublin was not very cosmopolitan then and obviously there was no internet in the 70’s.
As I worked in town very near to Trinity College I decided to ask one of the language professors I knew there, he took the piece of paper from my hand and said: Ah, it’s very simple Jem, all it says is “Life is like a cup of tea”
“And what does that mean Sir?”
“Don’t ask me, I’m a language professor not a philosopher”
Thank you for the usual perspective.
Jembo, got any anti gum ideas?
erhmm spottie I think he’s gawn again remember he doesn’t hang around on street corners waiting for any waif or stray?
That’s ok gummy, you just have to know what you are dealing with.
and in addition there is no longer RJ ; pugs the lugger jug and a few ladies of the knight who used to keep the wee laddie from the emerald around - obviously we are not sufficient?
I don’t know us recent offerings are from the source, anyone who can’t recognise that is beneath contempt.
ah but is it the dark brown source variety or the red tomato source variety that is the question or perhaps daddys source?
I once found the sauce of denial : it was right in the middle of Egypt??
gum, if ya don’t admit ta finding anything, ya will never have to consider denying it.
One has been busy. I don’t know about time being relative, but it has certainly been slip-sliding away by here.
I currently have four major DIY projects on the go, plus several minors as well as.
Oh well, Fruitcake Folly wasn’t built in a day.
One of the major projects is to build a torture chamber in the garage, or mini-gym as my Lovely Cousin calls it. I am supposed to take regliar exercise as instructed by the lovely ladies of my local heart failure team. On days when the weather is inclement I use a dreadmill and/or exercise bike, but they take up a lot of room.
As my Uncle/FiL’s health has deteriorated, we have had to bring in more devices and mobility aids to ensure he can still live here with us, so available space has recently been reduced.
However, we have just sold our classic car, and as we have a three-car garage, it has been mutually agreed, by unilateral declaration from the highest authority in the land, that a corner of said garage has been donated for use as an exercise area. It needs to be enclosed though so it can be heated in winter since the volume of the main building is too great to make heating it all practical and cost effective.
The wood has been ordered and should be arriving tomorrow. I’ve just paid a lady to beat me up, so I’m having the rest of the day off to chill and talk cobblers on the interwebular.
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thank you red dear - all cobblers have been counted and are correct and ready for service SIR!
you will soon be recieving in the said british mail a certificate of worthiness and order of non-selfish high doing for caring for said FIL etc - very commendable - make sure though he doesn’t fall off of the tread mill whilst exercising won’t you??
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“Jembo, got any anti gum ideas?”
Gum, the sticky stuff, has been around a very long time, actually it is mentioned in the bible:
“Kane couldn’t stick his brother Abel, so he killed him”
The best of luck with the work Fruity, I hope you keep a photographic record of the process.
Be prepared for some ferocious slagging from the Gummy fella, but he’s harmless really…from the knees down that is. 
I don’t have to pay anyone to beat me up, all I have to do is come home drunk and Phyllis does it for free.
i do beg your pardon Jem have you just climbed out of the Liffey ? - I truly admire anyone these days who clutches a loved one to the home fires like wot Fruityman is doin. I despise the use of OPH’s - God’s waiting rooms some have called them - all the oldies piled together and some not all visited not weekly but if they are lucky monthly. Yes there may sometimes be a time for intensive care with specialists but in the days of yore - old people just died at home surrounded by their kith and kin and enjoyed that or at least appreciated. No no don’t get me started on care of the elderly old fella or I will call on the ghost of Pug to come and lecture us!!
I wouldn’t mind if the spirit of Pug returned to me in the middle the night Gummy, there are a rake of questions I’d like to ask him.
He was very obliging and forthcoming to share his great knowledge with anyone who asked , and he spread it out in layman’s terms so all could understand, a true example of a rough diamond was that gent, I miss the old bugger.
It’s the middle of the night here in dear old dirty Dublin, I had a severe headache and couldn’t nod off, and I’ll add I very very seldom get headaches.
This was probably due to have to listen to Phyllis and three of her widowed sisters yappin all night, they didn’t leave until 12.30am.
They drank all the Sherry then Philly invited them to help themselves to MY port!, cleaned out I am now. 
I phoned a taxi and poured the three of them into it.
Ah well It’s good to see they had a good laugh, a little treat does us old folk a power of good now and then.
Headache gone and I’m off to bed now, goodnight folks.
I just love to watch your dexterity these days Jem and posting those Utubes - do you have to bend them much to get them on?