I seem to have a hole in my sock. Any chance you can stitch it for me before we go out?
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Do you ever use deodorant?
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“No dessert for me, thank you. Gotta get back home to the hubby.”
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my third wife held her fork like that…
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Aunt Mavis will be here soon.
Your mouthwash aint makin’ it.
Could you see your way to lend me a couple of hundred quid ?
Did I not tell you I’m a declared bankrupt?
The bastards have only gone and revoked my shotgun license! 
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Do you know any good Vegan recipies
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Shall we try the four sprung duck technique?
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My four children are all under six.
Just need to rinse my top denture
Sorry I’m late; my STD appointment overran.
Do you by any chance have a nit comb I can borrow?
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Hello Mary. Nice to see you again. Err I’m Margaret!
Whoops. Another Bites the Dust. 
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Sorry couldn’t get a babysitter so I brought the children along
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Do you shave your head or is it all natural?
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I don’t suppose you’ve got any change for the machine in the gents?
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Now then number, em… seventeen, do YOU eat meat???