Hi Maree yes I should have replied with a clever quip but I was not expecting a smart ass reply so didn’t have one ready !
I dont expect people to give me chapter and verse as to what they do .
Ie I work at the hospital would suffice or I’m in engineering .
It’s only small talk I would not like to interrogate people just normal conversation.
He wasn’t SAS he was an electrical engineer ( his wife told me ) so it was no great shakes or secret squirrel . You are right he was a plonker.
I would tell them . It’s no big deal . I’m retired ! 
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That thought did cross my mind Twink but it was a celebration for a mutual friend that I would not like to upset .
I like your ball-throwing analogy @Maree - great description.
I think of “small talk” as being the oil that greases the wheels of social interaction, to help social events run smoothly.
Some folk find “small talk” comes more naturally than others and some are good at encouraging other folk to open up and chat - I used to be really shy when I was a child and teenager so I had to teach myself to get used to chatting to groups of strangers after I left home to live in a hostel with lots of other women and started work which involved a customer facing role.
The more I practiced, the easier it got - I discovered the secret was to focus on trying to make other folk feel at ease and encouraging them to talk about themselves - that made me forget about myself and stopped me feeling self-conscious.
It eventually became second nature to chat to anyone in any type of setting.
It helps if you are genuinely interested in people and what makes them tick - I love hearing people chat about their work, hobbies and interests.
It can become tedious when one person in a group monopolises the conversation to talk only about themselves but it can feel even more awkward if you get seated with someone who hardly speaks at all and answers even open questions with just one or two words and never asks any questions or leaves you any hooks to continue the conversation.
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@PixieKnuckles l shouldn’t have to explain really should l ?
Pauline asked me “what l am on” for some reason ?
My answer was l prefer sniffing !
Make of that what you will ?? 
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I think that lunch must have been quite uncomfortable for you muddy, I would have been knocking back the wine 
nothing worse than being stuck beside someone like that . I actually like listening to people’s life stories , but sometimes you can be stuck next to some one who constantly talks uninteresting tosh . Some tell their whole life in minutes , but I do like conversation, but I’ll keep topping up my wine glass 
It was alright , I am old enough now to realise that these .things happen .
If she doesn’t like parties or talking to people, then why did she go to lunch with you?
I’m quite the opposite, i’m nosey and like to know all the in’s and out’s!!!
At parties & dinners I used to dread being asked “what do you do” I married age 16 and became a stay at home mum . Boring 
I honestly believe everyone has a duty to become fluent in small talk … practice practice practice.
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Nothing boring about that…you could say you were multi disciplined, and very talented in conflict resolution 
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Being a stay at home mum is OK Ripple weren’t most of us at one time ?
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But I never worked …other than looking after the home and my family .
I don’t feel I lost out by not having a career …
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I must remember that
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Lots of women stay at home and look after their families I think it’s a very good thing to do .it’s lovely for a child to have the security and comfort of a parent at home especially when they are little instead of being shuffled pillar to post with child minders etc .
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Yes, and from a parent point of view…you miss out on those special moments I think. There is nothing worse than being told your child has achieved something and you weren’t there to see it because you were busy shuffling papers for someone who didn’t give a…chit. I think there is far too much pressure put on women/mothers to try and achieve everything when to be honest, quality parenting is better than anything.
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Yes true, however you have to have to be inventive at small talk if you don’t want to caught talking about the best washing powder …at parties 
lOL…well I was a divorced Mother of 3 who had to work to keep a roof over Our heads 50+ years ago…dinner parties/social gatherings?..You’re 'avin a laugh 
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Im sure you are a good laugh
You must have been cream crackered .
I’m a Weegie Ripple…goes with the territory
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