I need to talk. Thank you for letting me vent. My husband doesn’t get why this is eating at me. My next-door neighbor has been harassing me for 3 years ever since I caught her sexting my husband. She’s a scandalous woman who loves married men. We’ve had nothing to do with her after my husband blocked her, (I read the texts - it was 100% her trying to seduce him), but to save her reputation and marriage, she is working on destroying me and my marriage. She is trying to show the world she’s a victim - of me?! She’s scared I will tell her husband about her nude photos and lewd messages, and I never did. Thus far she’s made a false police report, false restraining order attempt, placed sirens along my driveway so when I use my driveway, I listen to sirens - the police made her turn them off, 4 cameras aimed at my house to make me look like a fool, signs pointed to my house about being respectful with dog poop - we NEVER walk our dog on her yard, signs in her side windows facing our house that she has a home security system (we’re not criminals!!!), property line stakes all along her side yard to show neighbors she needs to keep me away, and yesterday, after 3 years of us ignoring her, she installed security bars on her side windows - again - to infer that we are attempting to break in. It is frustrating and embarrassing. (There’s more, too!) She is trying to provoke a reaction so she can file another police report against me. Her false restraining order was based on her accusations that I was plotting to murder her and her children, I was a thief, I broke into her house, I trespass, I accost her, I hacked her internet… 100% lies. The judge saw she was a nut and yelled at her. The COMICAL thing is - she is putting on a show for the neighbors and her husband that she is so FRIGHTENED of me (?! I’m a 60-year-old preK teacher), yet whenever her security cameras alert her that I am outdoors, she casually strolls out of her house and gets busy in her yard. She’s BEGGING for me to say something to her… I haven’t and I won’t. WHY is this happening? I want NOTHING to do with her. I have no will to even speak or fight with her - but this constant provocation is getting under my skin and making me fear what she is capable of. She is SOOO bothered by me. It is flattering in a way, but she seems so psycho now.
Welcome to the forum! 
Sorry to hear about your neighbors.
I have no words of advice. My neighbors are horrible too, just in a different way.
that’s really upsetting. She sounds unhinged. I don’t really understand how your neighbour was able to install syrens on your property. I would put in a big fence if I were in such a situation and plant fast growing vegetation so that you have some privacy. There must be some laws against surveillance of a neighbouring property.
There are many social problems in Blighty, Rednecks aren’t one of them.
So sorry your going through this. Firstly however, speaking as someone who does have mental health problems ( or in lay persons words is “nuts”. How i dislike that phrase.) This is the work of an evil, vindictive individual. Shes just plain nasty. Ive had a similar neighbour, im in social housing and she wanted a transfer to a bigger house. The complaints she made about me were awful, things she did,said. Even videoing me shouting my dogs to come away from the fence, after she accused one of them of biting, they didnt. There is a huge difference between mentally ill and nastiness. Sometimes ignoring people like her works, sometimes it doesnt. My advice would be fight fire with fire. Install your own cameras, making sure every move you or anyone else does outside your house is recorded and logged. Tell your husband you need peace of mind. If he objects maybe he does have something to hide. Remember cheats are always one step ahead, how do you know he didnt delete messages etc. Anyway at least with your own camera evidence next time she contacts the police (who through experience, i know really dont want to get involved in these matters.) You will have all the necessary proof you need, showing youve done nothing wrong which should bring you some peace of mind. As hard as it is, keep ignoring her, keep doing what your doing. Tell your your husband to get off his backside and show you more support. Tell him its affecting YOUR mental health and if its not sorted your going to have to move. You need him to be there for you.
Mayhem has given you great advice,but i shall add my thoughts.
Tell her you will show her husband and neighbours the texts etc if she keeps this crappy behaviour up,she does not know they have been deleted.
Pity the texts were deleted, they could have come in handy. I believe deleted is not totally deleted and someone good with tec stuff could probably get them re-surfaced. I know it can be done with deleted emails.
It ditching your husband an option?
Thank you, everyone. It is so helpful to vent because every time I tell my husband, “now look at what she’s doing!” he tells me to ignore it and he gets annoyed about how much it bothers me. It’s the principle of the thing. She is in the wrong for everything and she should feel lucky that I didn’t tell her husband. I haven’t told anyone because I don’t want them to think badly of my husband. Believe me, I am furious with him as well. He could have nipped it long ago.
Her security cameras are angled directly at us and had trigger siren activation. For a month, when we accessed our land, a soft siren went off. We tried ignoring it for spite, but I ended up in the ER with chest pains over it so the police had her shut off the sound. A lawyer said she is legally allowed to record outdoors, however. Audio recording is illegal but I know she is listening to us when we are outside because every time I say something that I like in my yard m, she comes out and does the opposite. For example, there is mulch that we put along the property line with our plants. When I told my husband, how beautiful it looked, the very next day, she lined the property line with weeds.
I photographed and listed for the lawyer everything she has done, including the false police report and restraining order attempt. He said I could POSSIBLY get a harassment prevention order, but he warned me that it is going to be a long and expensive road going forward because she is a very vicious woman, and I would always have to watch my back. He said to either move - which we are not going to as this is a home that has been in our family for generations or ignore it.
I possibly am getting under HER skin because we are going on year 3 without retaliation. She wants retaliation.
Thank you for the responses. I am glad to know that you would agreed With me that this is highly aggravating. My husband and my adult kids think I am insane to let it bother me. Again, it’s the principle.
I did not mean to offend anyone with the “nuts” comment as my own child has mental health issues. I meant it as a way to describe a vicious, vindictive woman - not someone I know to legitimately have a psychiatric condition.
Move house
I’d be really worried if I had someone like that living next door to me. As somebody else mentioned, get some cameras of your own that cover your property only. You have no desire to see what’s she’s doing on her own land but you really need to know if she enters yours. She sounds like a right fruit loop.
We have a ring doorbell camera that catches the front of our house. I thought about doing the cameras, but I don’t want to play her game and I’m actually scared that will escalate into something else. The court already has on file that she is a liar - when she made the restraining order attempt she had no evidence, and I had evidence proving all of her claims were lies.
What annoys me is that the side of her house that faces the side of our house is lined with 4 security cameras, bars on the windows, and tall ugly property stakes. The 3 remaining sides of her house have nothing. She is making a statement to the world that we are dangerous people and she is a victim - because in reality if we were out to get her, which we are NOT, we would simply access the other 3 sides of her house that do not have cameras and do not have bars on the windows. Just because one side is locked up like Fort Knox doesn’t mean she’s safe from us. (She is safe from us, trust me.)
It’s a constant taunt. It’s constant attention-seeking. I think I am winning by ignoring it from the outside - from the inside, it’s annoying me. I am hoping the neighbors see she is a classless harasser.
P.S. She wants us to put up cameras because she thinks my husband would enjoy watching her flit around in her yard. She also wants the cameras because she will then call 911 and claim we are stalking and harassing her… That will then be 2 police reports against me on file. The police said if she calls 3x, they could arrest me. I could lose my job and pension…
She can’t stop you having cameras that cover your own land. If she makes a complaint you can show the authorities the views from your cameras to prove her wrong.
Maybe you could use covert cameras so she doesn’t know they’re there. I’d want something for my own peace of mind.
That’s true!!! Good ideas! Thanks!
Sorry, Mayhem. I didn’t mean to be offensive with “nuts.” I would never call anyone that word with problems as my son has his own mental health issues. I meant her behavior is unacceptable, dangerous, and vicious, not even to mention lewd… She’s bullying me and she has her right mind as far as I know. She’s targeting me and causing me distress. Again, her behavior isn’t normal and if I believed it was mental illness, I would take pity on her and understand her actions a little bit better. Thank you!
I wasnt offended its ok. Thank you though.
Do hope things improve, just come on here to kick off. Best wishes. x
Hello, Does anyone know the meaning or rationale of this other than to spark a mystery or entice us to put something in OUR window? She’s been putting various rolls or tubes of something across her window that faces our house - it looks like a small tension rod one day, the next day it looks like a roll of wrapping paper, the next day it looks like a mini-shade rolled up. I thought it was some type of a lock, but this roll or tube changes each day, so it can’t be that. She puts it on the other side of her pulled-down blinds so we obviously see it. When she turns her lights on at night, it looks like a lock or crowbar - maybe that’s what she’s going for. Her window is about 36" wide. The rolls or tubes she uses range from 12" to 18" wide and sit on top of her casement window locks. It makes no sense, but now she’s been sliding a sheet of paper or cardboard (8x11) through her blind and behind this roll or tube… I can’t figure out what it is. I know it is for our attention, but it makes NO sense. Her blinds are down, so why the small sheet of paper that doesn’t cover her window? Is it to create a mystery? Is it a 2 way sheet so she can sit behind the paper with her blind slightly propped open to watch us? Does she want us to wonder if there’s a camera on the other side of the paper? Just curious if anyone knows what this might be? My guess is she wants us to put a sign of some sort in OUR window as retaliation so she can call the police for harassment? We’ve NEVER retaliated, but I’m trying to think about the meaning of a short tube + paper on a window with a blind that is pulled down… Any ideas? Thank you!
It’s not like she had a random tube hanging in her kitchen that she decided to quickly hide behind her blind to get it out of sight - NO - it has been a variety of tubes in her window that faces us, WITH a paper that she intentionally slides through her blinds. She will remove the paper on occasion to clean, but then the 8x11 paper is painstakingly weaved back through the blind and on the other side of the tube… I’m just curious if this makes sense to anyone? If the paper is for privacy (?) her blinds are down already AND the paper is so small it wouldn’t make a difference. If it was for privacy, she could have drapes over her blinds or tape the paper - and MORE paper - to the window. I’m confused.