I am so loving this thread …please dont stop 
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Enter it for “Log Of The Year” award 
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Bathsheba, l am pleased it made you laugh, you need lots of cheering at the moment.
I’m not sure he’ll be back unless l ask him but l think l will have a rest from men for now.
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Art , can you tell us more about Mr Rich is he generous of spirit or do you have to pay half of everything .
My mate Sue had a very very rich man in her life but he was so mean he asked for half the petrol when he went anywhere. He would immediately go to the toilets when they went into a coffee shop or pub and leave her to pay for the drinks . He poured her a baileys one evening and the glass was so tiny and to taste the baileys she had to dip her tongue into the glass and it was gone in two dips !
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This takes me back many years when there was a blockage in the office gents and the maintenance plumber was called up from the Castle’s workshops. I can remember him exclaiming loudly … “who’s the bugger with a 6inch arsehole?!! These pans are only 4 inch bore” … I was absolutely consumed with hysterics and had to be helped into the tea room
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This thread just gets funnier and funnier 
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What we can take from this is, that Arts guy must know his arse from his elbow judging by his richard the thirds.
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Wait…WHAT???
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I never liked Dicky Valentine anyway!
So There!
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@Artangel Could you not hang a sign on the outside of the toilet door
If you need to do a poo
please use someone else’s loo.
If you have to drop a log,
please don’t do it in my bog.
If you have to dump a chod
please pay the bill for dyno-rod.
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Awww I was having a bitta toilet fun, I don’t mean you are lying …anyway angels don’t lie just like queens don’t fort 
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Sorry hear about your disastrous Valentine’s Day, Angel.
Mind you, ladies don’t talk about poo. In fact, I’m not entirely sure that they actually do it.
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LQ, After replying to your post, l did wonder if l had taken it, in not the way you had meant it. Sorry for that.
It’s your ‘street’ talk that foxed me!! 
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JBR, l wouldn’t normally talk about things like that but l am worried about my drains!
I can tell you, l was physically shocked when l set eyes on it. So much so, l think l need counselling!
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Well in future you should tell him to go before he comes.
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I don’t think there is a future!
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Then tell him to go and not bother to come!
Sad, though, Angel. You deserve so much better.
One day your prince will come. (Hang on, isn’t that a song?)
Seriously, I’m sure if the truth be known they are queueing up out there.
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I only found out yesterday that St Valentine is the patron saint of bee keepers and epileptics as well as lovers.
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The mind boggles at the thought of a fitting apiarist …ouch!
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I don’t keep bees, but I am epileptic… or have a suspicion that I might be.
Perhaps I’ll think about praying to St Valentine.
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