Berts wife then broke down and cried
“To this man I can no longer be tied”
" You are not the man that I married" she said whilst in tears
“So many women and and so many beers”
But his eggs and fresh bacon she fried
The phone rang and somebody said
Oops …
Another fresh start for limericks?
Lines 1. 2. And 5. Seven to ten syllables with the same verbal rhythm.
Lines 3. And 4. Five to seven syllables with the same verbal rhythm.
The phone rang and somebody said
“Can I please speak with Fred?”
The phone rang and somebody said
Can I speak with my old mate Fred
The phone rang and somebody said
“Can I speak with my old mate Fred”
" fraid Fred’s not here"
The phone rang and somebody said
“Can I speak with my old mate Fred”
" fraid Fred’s not here"
Was the answer quite clear
The phone rang and somebody said
" Can I speak with my old mate Fred"
" fraid Fred’s not here"
Was the answer quite clear
“He’s not very well, in fact dead!”
Fred heard what was said and he grinned
The phone rang and somebody said
“Can I speak with my old mate Fred”
" fraid Fred’s not here"
Was the answer quite clear
“Well can I speak with Bert instead?”
“Bert’s left me”, exclaimed his poor wife
Fred heard what was said and he grinned
As he stirred some paint he had thinned
Fred heard what was said and he grinned
As he stirred some paint he had thinned
Then the fumes got to him
Fred heard what was said and he grinned
As he stirred some paint he had thinned
Then the fumes got to him
His eyesight went dim
Fred heard what was said and he grinned
As he stirred some paint he had thinned
Then the fumes got to him
His eyesight went dim
And He had an attack of the wind
Bert said cor Fred what a smell
Bert said cor Fred what a smell
It’s pretty strong stuff I can tell
Bert said cor Fred what a smell
It’s pretty strong stuff I can tell
“It’s not me, it’s the paint”
Bert said cor Fred what a smell
It’s pretty strong stuff I can tell
“It’s not me, it’s the paint”
Said Bert … no it aint
Bert said “Cor Fred what a smell”!
It’s pretty strong stuff I can tell
“It’s not me it’s the paint”
Said Bert…No it ain’t
And it’s making me feel quite unwell.
While chopping down a large half dead tree
While chopping down a large half dead tree
A thought came over me
While chopping down a large half dead tree
A thought came over me
What if it falls on the van?
While chopping down a large half dead tree
A thought came over me
What if it falls on the van?
Or crushes old Dan
While chopping down a large half dead tree
A thought came over me
What if it falls on the van?
Or crushes old Dan
The blame will be down to me.
There was an old man from Belize
There was an old man from Belize
Who had an aversion to cheese
