Oh dear, EZ, why cant you drink merlot? It’s up to you …
Red or white is the choice before me
Myself I’d prefer some malt whisky!
Mine’s a glass of Shiraz
Och Noo!! 
Red or white is the choice before me
Myself I’d prefer some malt whisky!
Mine’s a glass of Shiraz
And then some razzmatazz
Red or white is the choice before me
Myself I’d prefer some malt whisky!
Mine’s a glass of Shiraz
And then some razzmatazz
That’s if you’re sober enough to see.
A hangover is not very nice
A hangover is not very nice
To prove it I did it twice
A hangover is not very nice
To prove it I did it twice
I am now on the wagon
A hangover is not very nice
To prove it I did it twice
But recovery can be swift
A hangover is not very nice
To prove it I did it twice
I am now on the wagon
Breathing fire like a dragon
A hangover is not very nice
To prove it I did it twice
I am now on the wagon
Breathing fire like a dragon
Maybe you should take more ice.
Too much booze can do you great harm
Too much booze can do you great harm
And send you to the funny farm
Too much booze can do you great harm
And send you to the funny farm
It can pickle your liver
Too much booze can do you great harm
And send you to the funny farm
It can pickle your liver
And make your willy wither
Too much booze can do you great harm
And send you to the funny farm
It can pickle your liver
And make your willy wither
Which puts you in need of some balm
There was a young fella called steve
There was a young fella called Steve
Who loved to both knit and weave
There was a young fella called Steve
Who loved to both knit and weave
He was so accurate and quick
There was a young fella called Steve
Who loved to both knit and weave
He was so accurate and quick
Albeit a bit thick
There was a young fella called Steve
Who loved to both knit and to weave
He was so accurate and so quick
Albeit a bit thick
So boring I just had to leave.
He cried as I slammed his front door
He cried as I slammed his front door
And called out “don’t you want to see more?”
He cried as I slammed his front door
And called out"Don’t you want to see more?"
I yelled “You knit far too much!”
He cried as I slammed his front door
And called out"Don’t you want to see more?"
I yelled “You knit far too much!”
“But I’m no soft touch”