The judge said now look here young man
You were ordered to stop but you ran
It’s locked up for you
And your mate, too
Where you’re going you won’t get a tan
A writer of poems once said
A writer of poems once said
I do most of my work in the shed
A writer of poems once said
I do most of my work in the shed
It never does rhyme
A writer of poems once said
I do most of my work in the shed
It never does rhyme
And takes to much time
A writer of poems once said
I do most of my work in the shed
It never does rhyme
And takes to much time
I might have well stayed in bed.
I once knew a bin man called Stan
I once knew a bin man called Stan
Who reckons he eats to much bran
I once knew a bin man called Stan
Who reckons he eats to much bran
He had some with his spam
And more in a flan
I once knew a bin man called Stan
Who reckons he eats to much bran
He had some with his spam
And more in a flan
And spends to much time on the can
A man bought a hat for a pound
A man bought a hat for a pound
But the rim went just half way round
A man bought a hat for a pound
But the rim went just half way round
He said It was cheap
A man bought a hat for a pound
But the rim went just half way round
He said It was cheap
And smelt like a sheep
While watching UFO’s on TV
Eh? 
A man bought a hat for a pound
But the rim went just half way round
He said It was cheap
And smelt like a sheep
And is now put to rest in the ground
While stuck on the motorway slow
While stuck on the motorway slow
In my Porsche raring to go
While stuck on the motorway slow
In my Porsche raring to go
I quickly changed lanes
While stuck on the motorway slow
In my Porsche raring to go
I quickly changed lanes
The blood surged in my veins
While stuck on the motorway slow
In my Porsche raring to go
I quickly changed lanes
The blood surged in my veins
And I couldn’t help shout “Tally ho”
I fancy a walk on the beach
I fancy a walk on the beach
But must give my bikini line a bleach
What d’yer mean “Ey”?
I was watching a programme on the telly about UFO sightings, so started a limerick about it! 
I fancy a walk on the beach
But must give my bikini line a bleach
Then my legs I must shave