Limericks. (New)

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901

I bought a new map book today
Not before time I say
It’s extra large scale
With that you can’t fail

902

I bought a new map book today
Not before time I say
It’s extra large scale
With that you can’t fail
Perhaps now I will find my way. :slight_smile:

So off on my journey I set

903

So off on my journey I set
Haven’t decided where to yet

904

So off on my journey I set
Haven’t decided where to yet
North, south, east or west?

905

So off on my journey I set
Haven’t decided where to yet
North, south, east or west?
Can’t really say which is best

906

So off on my journey I set
Haven’t decided where to yet
North, south, east or west?
Can’t really say which is best
I must stay calm and not fret.

In the end I chickened out
Too full of fear and doubt

907

In the end I chickened out
Too full of fear and doubt
At home I will remain

908

In the end I chickened out
Too full of fear and doubt
At home I will remain
Or else go by train

909

In the end I chickened out
Too full of fear and doubt
At home I will remain
Or else go by train
She said, with a big pout.

When Maudy joined her first gym

910

When Maudy joined her first gym
Her figure was somewhat grim

911

When Maudy joined her first gym
Her figure was somewhat grim
She bought leggings and top

912

When Maudy joined her first gym
Her figure was somewhat grim
She bought leggings and top
But her boobs they did drop

913

When Maudy joined her first gym
Her figure was somewhat grim
She bought leggings and top
But her boobs they did drop
Even that didn’t make her look slim.

So she asked about gastric bands

914

So she asked about gastric bands
Or was her weight caused by her glands?

915

So she asked about gastric bands
Or was her weight caused by her glands?
That’s what some people blame

916

So she asked about gastric bands
Or was her weight caused by her glands?
That’s what some people blame
But Maudy’s excuse was quite lame

917

So she asked about gastric bands
Or was her weight caused by her glands?
That’s what some people blame
But Maudy’s excuse was quite lame
She had fifteen pork pies in her hands

You need to stop eating the pies, said the doc

918

You need to stop eating the pies, said the doc
Which gave her a bit of a shock

919

You need to stop eating the pies, said the doc
Which gave her a bit of a shock
She had tons in the freezer

920

You need to stop eating the pies, said the doc
Which gave her a bit of a shock
She had tons in the freezer
More than enough to please her