When Mabel got asked out to dine
She felt she was on cloud nine
She was fed with a Gregg’s pasty
When Mabel got asked out to dine
She felt she was on cloud nine
She was fed with a Gregg’s pasty
Not only cheap but rather nasty
When Mabel got asked out to dine
She felt she was on cloud nine
She was fed with a Gregg’s pasty
Not only cheap but rather nasty
And not even a glass of wine.
She chose not to see Fred again
She chose not to see Fred again
Which drove our poor Fred insane
She chose not to see Fred again
From cheap dates she’d in future abstain
She chose not to see Fred again
Which drove our poor Fred insane
But he got the last laugh
She chose not to see Fred again
Which drove our poor Fred insane
But he got the last laugh
And tore her photo in half
She chose not to see Fred again
Which drove our poor Fred insane
But he got the last laugh
And tore her photo in half
And set off to Blackpool on the train
While sat down on the North Pier
While sat down on the North Pier
I fancied a really cool beer
While sat down on the North Pier
He fancied a really cool beer
But as he sat dreaming
While sat down on the North Pier
He fancied a really cool beer
But as he sat dreaming
With the sun on his head beaming
While sat down on the North Pier
He fancied a really cool beer
But as he sat dreaming
With the sun on his head beaming
His mind wandered to thoughts of Leah.
Leah was an old love from the past
Leah was an old love from the past
Who was a bit loose and fast
Leah was an old love from the past
Who was a bit loose and fast
And his passion arose
Leah was an old love from the past
Who was a bit loose and fast
And his passion arose
As he unzipped her clothes
Leah was an old love from the past
Who was a bit loose and fast
And his passion arose
As he unzipped her clothes
But she slapped him, and said he’s too fast.
His stinging cheek turned red
His stinging cheek turned red
“Serves you right” our Leah said
His stinging cheek turned red
“Serves you right” our Leah said
‘‘Leave my buttons alone’’
His stinging cheek turned red
“Serves you right” our Leah said
‘‘Leave my buttons alone’’
“Your actions I can’t condone”
His stinging cheek turned red
“Serves you right” our Leah said
‘‘Leave my buttons alone’’
“Your actions I can’t condone”
Not till you get me in bed
Your place or mine our hero said.