A cat and a mouse had a race
They went at a helluva pace
They were having such fun
But it was hot in the sun
So they both swapped their sweatshirts for lace.
The mouse then surged into the lead
The mouse then surged into the lead
Cos the cat had to stop while he pee’d 
The mouse then surged into the lead
Cos the cat had to stop while he pee’d
You should’ve seen him scamper ahead! 
The mouse then surged into the lead
Cos the cat had to stop while he pee’d
You should’ve seen him scamper ahead!
“I’m winning now” he said
The mouse then surged into the lead
Cos the cat had to stop while he pee’d
You should’ve seen him scamper ahead!
“I’m winning now” he said
Now time to stop for a feed
The bishop was leading his flock
The bishop was leading his flock
When he noticed he’d only one sock
The bishop was leading his flock
When he noticed he’d only one sock
“Hells bells!” he cried out
The bishop was leading his flock
When he noticed he’d only one sock
“Hells bells!” he cried out
“That’s the foot with the gout!”
The bishop was leading his flock
When he noticed he’d only one sock
“Hells bells!” he cried out
“That’s the foot with the gout!”
And had to sit down quick with shock.
Ethel made a nice hot pot for dinner
Ethel made a nice hot pot for dinner
Hubby always said !It’s a winner"
Ethel made a nice hot pot for dinner
Hubby always said !It’s a winner"
But she made such a lot
Ethel made a nice hot pot for dinner
Hubby always said “It’s a winner!”
But she made such a lot
And she made it so hot
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Ethel made a nice hot pot for dinner
Hubby always said “It’s a winner!”
But she made such a lot
And she made it so hot
That he chucked it all in the binner!
Ruthio says our thread has got class
Ruthio says our thread has got class
To that I will raise a full glass
Ruthio says our thread has got class
To that I will raise a full glass
But my wine had gone off
Ruthio says our thread has got class
To that I will raise a full glass
But my wine had gone off
So a cuppa I’ll quaff
Ruthio says our thread has got class
To that I will raise a full glass
But my wine had gone off
So what now should I quaff? 
Ruthio says our thread has got class
To that I will raise a full glass
But my wine had gone off
So what now should I quaff?
In the meantime I’ll just cut the grass
My mower is needing some oil
My mower is needing some oil
And possibly a new Coil