Limericks. (New)

Our world is dying each day
Ooh don’t be morbid I say
Greet each day with a smile
As wide as a mile

Our world is dying each day
Ooh don’t be morbid I say
Greet each day with a smile
As wide as a mile
Then hope it can stay that way.

I’m cold, so I’m going to bed

I’m cold so I’m going to bed
You could just turn the heat up instead

I’m cold so I’m going to bed
You could just turn the heat up instead
But I’ll be cosy and warm

I’m cold so I’m going to bed
You could just turn the heat up instead
But I’ll be cosy and warm
Completely out of harm

I’m so cold I’m going to bed
You could just turn the heat up instead
But I’ll be cosy and warm
Completely out of harm
If you invite your buddy called Fred.

It’s been an awfully misty, wet day

It’s been an awfully misty, wet day
And sad to report, there’s more on the way

It’s been an awfully misty, wet day
And sad to report, there’s more on the way
With some fog and ice

It’s been an awfully misty, wet day
And sad to report, there’s more on the way
With some fog and ice
It doesn’t sound nice

It’s been an awfully misty, wet day
And sad to report, there’s more on the way
With some fog and ice
It doesn’t sound nice
We’ll soon be needing a sleigh!

As the church clock stuck midnight

As the church clock stuck midnight
Young Vlad went out for a bite

As the church clock stuck midnight
Young Vlad went out for a bite
But it was so cold and dark

As the church clock stuck midnight
Young Vlad went out for a bite
But it was so cold and dark
He thought sod this for a lark

As the church clock stuck midnight
Young Vlad went out for a bite
But it was so cold and dark
He thought sod this for a lark
And ran till his house was in sight.

While queuing in Lidl’s one day

While queuing in Lidl’s one day
A man from Estonia did say

While queuing in Lidl’s one day
A man from Estonia did say
Can you spare me some change?

While queuing in Lidl’s one day
A man from Estonia did say
Can you spare me some change?
I’ve me tea to arrange

While queuing in Lidl’s one day
A man from Estonia did say
Can you spare me some change?
I’ve me tea to arrange
And I don’t know my Kurds from my whey.

A man with a drip on his nose

A man with a drip on his nose
Went out in the snow and it froze

A man with a drip on his nose
Went out in the snow and it froze
So with the help of a candle