Limericks. (New)

That’ll teach yer the elf said

" That’ll teach yer" the elf said
“That’s for taking my girlfriend to bed”

" That’ll teach yer" the elf said
“That’s for taking my girlfriend to bed”
After a swift punch on the nose

" That’ll teach yer" the elf said
“That’s for taking my girlfriend to bed”
After a swift punch on the nose
And stamping on his toes

“That’ll teach yer” the elf said
“That’s for taking my girlfriend to bed”
After a swift punch on the nose
And stamping of his toes
He realised he’d been mis led.

So he went round the next day to say sorry

So he went round the next day to say sorry
Then went home to watch Corrie

So he went round the next day to say sorry
Then went home to watch Corrie
Had a glass of Eggnog

So he went round the next day to say sorry
Then went home to watch Corrie
Had a glass of Eggnog
Then fancied a snog

So he went round the next day to say sorry
Then went home to watch Corrie
Had a glass of Eggnog
Then fancied a snog
But no one came forward as quarry.

The piggy said to the horse

The piggy said to the horse
I know can’t help being coarse

The piggy said to the horse
I know can’t help being coarse
But you cr@pped on my head

The piggy said to the horse
I know can’t help being coarse
But you cr@pped on my head
While I was in bed

The piggy said to the horse
I know can’t help being coarse
But you cr@pped on my head
While I was in bed
Quite nice with a little mint sauce

They named Greta as person of the year

They named Greta as person of the year
Not all would agree, I fear

They named Greta as person of the year
Not all would agree, I fear
But she’s only a kid

They named Greta as person of the year
Not all would agree, I fear
But she’s only a kid
Who has flipped her lid

They named Greta as person of the year
Not all would agree, I fear
But she’s only a kid
Who has flipped her lid
Or is she being really sincere?

Our world is dying each day

Our world is dying each day
Ooh don’t be morbid I say

Our world is dying each day
Ooh don’t be morbid I say
Greet each day with a smile