The sky’s coming over dark grey
So I shall stay at home today
I’ll have coffee and cake 
Or something I’ll make
Then on the sofa I’ll lay.
Bert needed to purchase some wood
Bert needed to purchase some wood
He’d go for mahogany if he could
Bert needed to purchase some wood
He’d go for mahogany if he could
He was making a seat
Bert needed to purchase some wood
He’d go for mahogany if he could
He was making a seat
So he could put up his feet
Bert needed to purchase some wood
He’d go for mahogany if he could
He was making a seat
So he could put up his feet
And relax like a gentleman should. 
Berts wife said hold on a bit
Berts wife said hold on a bit
It looks too big - will it fit?
Mups really 
Berts wife said hold on a bit
It looks too big - will it fit?
I could lop some off
Berts wife said hold on a bit
It looks too big - will it fit?
I could lop some off
But I’ve got a nasty cough
Berts wife said hold on a bit
It looks too big - will it fit?
I could lop some off
But I’ve got a nasty cough
So while I’m not well I’ll just sit.
An author was writing a blog
An author was writing a blog
And it included Rufus, his dog
An author was writing a blog
And it included Rufus, his dog
That was a Great Dane
An author was writing a blog
And it included Rufus, his dog
That was a Great
And a young, unruly pain
An author was writing a blog
And it included Rufus, his dog
That was a Great Dane
And a young, unruly pain
That he’d often take out for a jog
There was a young fella from bow
There was a young fella from Bow
Who liked to be ’ in the know’
Sorry, hadn’t caught up
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There was a young fella from Bow
Who liked to be ’ in the know’
because nosy was he
There was a young fella from Bow
Who liked to be ’ in the know’
because nosy was he
Buzzing round like a bee
There was a young fella from Bow
Who liked to be ’ in the know’
because nosy was he
Buzzing round like a bee
With his nose continuing to grow.
He would sit at his window all day
He would sit at his window all day
Daydreaming his life away
He would sit at his window all day
Daydreaming his life away
“Curtain Twitcher” they said