Limericks. (New)

Poor lad lost the use of one leg
Docs decided to make him a peg
With a really sharp spike
That allows him to hike

Poor lad lost the use of one leg
Docs decided to make him a peg
With a really sharp spike
That allows him to hike
And remove the shell from his egg.

It’s Wednesday, the best day to shop

There was a man from Darleeing
who got on a bus in Ealing
He read on the door
Don’t spit on the floor
So he went and spat on the ceiling

It’s Wednesday, the best day to shop
I really must buy a new mop

It’s Wednesday, the best day to shop
I really must buy a new mop
The state of my floor

It’s Wednesday, the best day to shop
I really must buy a new mop
The state of my floor
It would make your eyes sore!

It’s Wednesday, the best day to shop
I really must buy a new mop
The state of my floor
It would make your eyes sore!
Though I scrub till I’m ready to flop.

I was cooking some Bangers for tea

I was cooking some Bangers for tea
When I slipped and fell on my knee :anguished:

I was cooking some Bangers for tea
When I slipped and fell on my knee
I grabbed for the sink

(Hi Ruthio :wave:)

was cooking some Bangers for tea
When I slipped and fell on my knee
I grabbed for the sink
And then poured a stiff drink :cocktail:

(Hi Ruthio :wave:)

(Hi Mupsy :wave: )

I was cooking some Bangers for tea
When I slipped and fell on my knee
I grabbed for the sink
And then poured a stiff drink
And then had another three! :grin:

'Twas a very thick frost this morn

Twas a very thick frost this morn
My sausage was made out of Quorn

Twas a very thick frost this morn
My sausage was made out of Quorn
Then along with some toast

Twas a very thick frost this morn
My sausage was made out of Quorn
Then along with some toast
My brekkie’s worse than most

Twas a very thick frost this morn
My sausage was made out of Quorn
Then along with some toast
My brekkie’s worse than most
But what do you expect at dawn!

Yet another week nearly done

Yet another week nearly done,
And I really could do with some fun

Yet another week nearly done,
And I really could do with some fun
My old man is boring

Yet another week nearly done,
And I really could do with some fun
My old man is boring
I can still hear him snoring

Yet another week nearly done,
And I really could do with some fun
My old man is boring
I can still hear him snoring
I’d have more fun being a nun!

2 Likes