Christmas is coming so fast
And to next April it will last
Next April? No way
Christmas is coming so fast
And to next April it will last
Next April? No way
Get it over today!
Christmas is coming so fast
And to next April it will last
Next April? No way
Get it over today!
And then it will be in the past.
On a dark windy night in December
On a dark, windy night in December
The darkest one I can remember
On a dark, windy night in December
The darkest one I can remember
The wind was howling
On a dark, windy night in December
The darkest one I can remember
The wind was howling
And me old man was scowling
On a dark, windy night in December
The darkest one I can remember
The wind was howling
And me old man was scowling
So I rang a nice friendly member.
Then after we’d had a good natter
Then after we’d had a good natter
We both felt a whole lot better 
Then after we’d had a good natter
We both felt a whole lot better
But Fred still had the 'ump
Then after we’d had a good natter
We both felt a whole lot better
But Fred still had the 'ump
He was such a fat lump
Then after we’d had a good natter
We both felt a whole lot better
But Fred still had the 'ump
He was such a fat lump
He looked like he’d been deep fried in batter!
On Friday we’ve got tickets for the Panto 
On Friday, we’ve got tickets for the Panto
Trouble is, it’s in Esperanto
On Friday, we’ve got tickets for the Panto
Trouble is, it’s in Esperanto
Devised by a Pole
On Friday, we’ve got tickets for the Panto
Trouble is, it’s in Esperanto
Devised by a Pole
And starring a mole
On Friday, we’ve got tickets for the Panto
Trouble is, it’s in Esperanto
Devised by a Pole
And starring a mole
But cancelled now, illness says we can’t go 
Never mind, they gave me a Voucher!
Never mind, they gave me a Voucher!
It was for one so I’ll go with out ya (couldn’t think of anything else to rhyme. 
)
Never mind, they gave me a Voucher!
It was for one so I’ll go with out ya
But it won’t be the same
Never mind, they gave me a Voucher!
It was for one so I’ll go with out ya
But it won’t be the same
Unless you came
Never mind, they gave me a Voucher!
It was for one so I’ll go with out ya
But it won’t be the same
Unless you came
And Mups too if you can rouse her! 
Only a week til Christmas Eve
Only a week til Christmas Eve
Another year gone, it’s hard to believe