It’ll soon be firework night
Filling thousands of pets with fright
It’ll soon be firework night
Filling thousands of pets with fright
Sparklers are fine
It’ll soon be firework night
Filling thousands of pets with fright
Sparklers are fine
But at bangers, draw the line
It’ll soon be firework night
Filling thousands of pets with fright
Sparklers are fine
But at bangers, draw the line
Yobs throw them, and then start a fight.
At Icelands I stood in the queue
At Iceland, I stood in the queue
Bursting to go to the loo
At Iceland, I stood in the queue
Bursting to go to the loo
So I crossed me legs
At Iceland, I stood in the queue
Bursting to go to the loo
So I crossed me legs
But knocked down some eggs
At Iceland, I stood in the queue
Bursting to go to the loo
So I crossed me legs
But knocked down some eggs
Then wee’d all over me shoe!
(You bring out the worst in me Judsy). 
On my way back to the car
On my way back to the car
Popped in the pub for a jar
On my way back to the car
Popped in the pub for a jar
But a bloke at the bar
On my way back to the car
Popped in the pub for a jar
But a bloke at the bar
A cop, who had radar
On my way back to the car
I popped in the pub for a jar
But a bloke at the bar
A cop, who had radar
Said “Your nicked! You ran over my my Ma.”
Give us a first line EZ 
A man had a boat on the lake
Sorry Tezza I had to log off urgently.
A man had a boat on a lake
A boat that he shared with a snake
A man had a boat on a lake
A boat that he shared with a snake
The snake was an adder
A man had a boat on a lake
A boat that he shared with a snake
The snake was an adder
Who slept under a ladder
A man had a boat on a lake
A boat that he shared with a snake
The snake was an adder
Who slept under a ladder
So the man then went off for a break
The adder slid onto the shore
The adder slid onto the shore
Then slithered along the floor