Limericks. (New)

Mrs Pig, on the other hand
Thought her husband looked very bland
Had she made a mistake?
Couldn’t fancy him, baked

Mrs Pig, on the other hand
Thought her husband looked very bland
Had she made a mistake?
Couldn’t fancy him, baked
She now preferred Chateaubriand

I do like my steak medium rare

I do like my steak medium rare
Well done just doesn’t compare

I do like my steak medium rare
Well done just doesn’t compare
With a large glass of red

I do like my steak medium rare
Well done just doesn’t compare
With a large glass of red
And a big chunk of bread

I do like my steak medium rare
Well done just doesn’t compare
With a large glass of red
And a big chunk of bread
There’s absolutely nowt to compare.

At times I like to dine out

At times I like to dine out
Whether burgers or pickled sauerkraut

At times I like to dine out
Whether burgers or pickled sauerkraut
But for me no McD’s

At times I like to dine out
Whether burgers or pickled sauerkraut
But for me no McD’s
Too fattening for me

At times I like to dine out
Whether burgers or pickled sauerkraut
But for me no McD’s
Too fattening for me
I would have to let my trousers right out.

Jo Swinson was having a bath

Jo Swinson was having a bath
Those metal ones, there on the hearth

Jo Swinson was having a bath
Those metal ones, there on the hearth
When she dropped her false teeth

Jo Swinson was having a bath
Those metal ones, there on the hearth
When she dropped her false teeth
So along came friend Keith

Jo Swinson was having a bath
Those metal ones, there on the hearth
When she dropped her false teeth
So along came friend Keith
And said “Prime Minister? Don’t make me laugh”

The Poll is just one week away

The Poll is just one week away
And for clarity we all surely must pray

The Poll is just one week away
And for clarity we all surely must pray
They’re all a disgrace

The Poll is just one week away
And for clarity we all surely must pray
They’re all a disgrace
And too in me face

The Poll is just one week away
And for clarity we all surely must pray
They’re all a disgrace
And too in me face
Clarity? That’ll be the day!

Do you worry about who might get in?

Do you worry about who might get in?
Yes! Particularly if it’s Cor-byn.

Do you worry about who might get in?
Yes! Particularly if it’s Cor-byn.
I could slap his smug face