It’s said his organ was rather large
For which he imposed a fixed charge
Others charge by the inch
Or a centimetre at a pinch
But it turned out to be a mirage
From the organ he moved to the flute
From the organ he moved to the flute
Then the trumpet and tuba to boot
Deleted
From the organ he moved to the flute
Then the trumpet and tuba to boot
His cheeks they did swell
From the organ he moved to the flute
Then the trumpet and tuba to boot
His cheeks they did swell
They went purple as well
From the organ he moved to the flute
Then the trumpet and tuba to boot
His cheeks they did swell
They went purple as well
And collapsed with a feeble salute
As he lay on the damp muddy ground
His thoughts turned to pleasures abound…
As he lay on the damp muddy ground,
His thoughts turned to pleasures abound…
As he lay on the damp muddy ground,
His thoughts turned to pleasures abound…
but then all was lost
As he lay on the damp muddy ground,
His thoughts turned to pleasures abound…
but then all was lost
At a terrible cost
As he lay on the damp muddy ground,
His thoughts turned to pleasures abound…
but then all was lost
At a terrible cost
As he was eaten by a big hound!
In a cafe in Yorkshire I saw
In a cafe in Yorkshire I saw
Mups with a huge plate of straw
In a cafe in Yorkshire I saw
Mups with a huge plate of straw
I said what’s that you’re eating
In a cafe in Yorkshire I saw
Mups with a huge plate of straw
I said what’s that you’re eating
But she just started bleating
In a cafe in Yorkshire I saw
Mups with a huge plate of straw
I said what’s that you’re eating
But she just started bleating
Her laugh sounded like Hee-Haw!
(You cheeky buggers) 
When sat in a pub in Poole
When sat in a pub in Poole
In walks Tabs, dressed up as a Mule
When sat in a pub in Poole
In walks Tabs, dressed up as a Mule
I said have a drink
When sat in a pub in Poole
In walks Tabs, dressed up as a Mule
I said have a drink
And she gave me a wink
When sat in a pub in Poole
In walks Tabs, dressed up as a Mule
I said have a drink
And she gave me a wink
And I said, well don’t you look like a fool
Then Tabs had a strop