While in my garden today cutting the grass
I saw a young lady, a real bit of class
I winked and I smiled
I felt quite young and wild
While in my garden today cutting the grass
I saw a young lady, a real bit of class
I winked and I smiled
I felt quite young and wild
But overcome, slipped and fell on my a*se
I quickly got to my feet
I quickly got to my feet
With face as red as a beet
I quickly got to my feet
With face as red as a beet
Dusted myself off
I quickly got to my feet
With face as red as a beet
Dusted myself off
With a hell of a cough
I quickly got to my feet
With face as red as a beet
Dusted myself off
With a hell of a cough
As the girl walked off down the street.
Bert put on so much weight
Bert put on so much weight
That he couldnât get out of the gate
Bert put on so much weight
That he couldnât get out of the gate
He was addicted to pies
Bert put on so much weight
That he couldnât get out of the gate
He was addicted to pies
Without a word of a lie
Bert put on so much weight
That he couldnât get out of the gate
He was addicted to pies
Without a word of a lie
And also the odd creamy cake
A young girl, down at the gym
Bert put on so much weight
That he couldnât get out of the gate
He was addicted to pies
Without a word of a lie
And his willpower wasnât that great.
On a diet he decided to embark
On a diet he decided to embark
He did it, you understand, for a lark
On a diet he decided to embark
He did it, you understand, for a lark
But it wasnât much fun
On a diet he decided to embark
He did it, you understand, for a lark
But it wasnât much fun
When he got shot by a gun
On a diet he decided to embark
He did it, you understand, for a lark
But it wasnât much fun
When he got shot by a gun
Whilst taking a walk in the park
The police arrived in a flash
The police arrived in a flash
Searched and found the Hash
The police arrived in a flash
Searched and found the Hash
Not dope but corned beef
The police arrived in a flash
Searched and found the hash
Not dope but corned beef
Which was such a relief
The police arrived in a flash
Searched and found the hash
Not dope but corned beef
Which was such a relief
And off they went to a crash.
(Iâm going back now to the one Paula started which got overlooked)
A young girl down at the gym
Wanted to be so fit and slim
A young girl down at the gym
Wanted to be so fit and slim
But try as she might