Limericks. (New)

General Chat Games
5541

In a dimly lit bar in Vancouver
The waitress was wielding a hoover
But folks wouldn’t go
Cos it started to snow
Which left them no room to maneuver

A pretty young girl called Diana

5542

A pretty young girl called Diana
Was good at playing the piana

5543

A pretty young girl called Diana
Was good at playing the piana
But while she tinkled the keys

5544

A pretty young girl called Diana
Was good at playing the piano
But while she tinkled the keys
She felt a slight breeze

5545

A pretty young girl called Diana
Was good at playing the ‘piana’
But while she tinkled the keys
She felt a slight breeze
Which she hoped would still be there Manana.

Next day when Diana awoke

5546

Next day when Diana awoke
Next to her in bed was a bloke

5547

Next day when Diana awoke
Next to her in bed was a bloke
She lashed out quite hard

5548

Next day when Diana awoke
Next to her in bed was a bloke
She lashed out quite hard
She was taken off guard

5549

Next day when Diana awoke
Next to her in bed was a bloke
She lashed out quite hard
She was taken off guard
And caused the fella to croak

Now she had a corpse in her bed

5550

Now she had a corpse in her bed
What do you do with a geezer that’s dead?

5551

Now she had a corpse in her bed
What do you do with a geezer that’s dead?
So she thought it all through

5552

Now she had a corpse in her bed
What do you do with a geezer that’s dead?
So she thought it all through
And then made him into stew

5553

Now she had a corpse in her bed
What do you do with a geezer that’s dead?
So she thought it all through
And then made him into stew
Which she served with some freshly baked bread

I often wish that I could

5554

I often wish that I could
Make beautiful things from wood

5555

I often wish that I could
Make beautiful things from wood
A chest of drawers, perhaps?

5556

I often wish that I could
Make beautiful things from wood
A chest of drawers, perhaps?
Then some new mouse traps

5557

I often wish that I could
Make beautiful things from wood
A chest of drawers perhaps?
Then some new mouse traps
Or an oak garden bench would be good

I found a sick bird on my lawn

5558

found a sick bird on my lawn
It’s feathers, all tattered and torn

5559

I found a sick bird on my lawn
It’s feathers, all tattered and torn
Nearby was the wrongdoer

5560

I found a sick bird on my lawn
It’s feathers all tattered and torn
Nearby was the wrongdoer
A cat AKA The Wee Poo’er