He took his suit in for repair
To a tailor well known for his flair
Trained at Savile Row did he
From nine o’clock till half past three
Then fell asleep in his chair
At ten o’clock he woke with a start
At ten o’clock he woke with a start
And banged his head, it didn’t half smart
At ten o’clock he woke with a start
And banged his head , it didn’t half smart
he shouldn’t have slept so long
At ten o’clock he woke with a start
And banged his head , it didn’t half smart
he shouldn’t have slept so long
For fur had grown upon on his tongue
At ten o’clock he woke with a start
And banged his head , it didn’t half smart
he shouldn’t have slept so long
For fur had grown upon on his tongue
And he’d done a follow-through fart
He got up to change his pants
At ten o’clock he woke with a start
And banged his head , it didn’t half smart
he shouldn’t have slept so long
For fur had grown upon on his tongue
And he’d done a follow-through fart 
He got up to change his pants
What if he’s seen, should he take the chance?
He got up to change his pants
What if he’s seen, should he take the chance?
Quick as a flash, he ran to the loo
He got up to change his pants
What if he’s seen, should he take the chance
Quick as a flash, he ran to the loo
Laces untied, fell over his shoe
He got up to change his pants
What if he’s seen, should he take the chance
Quick as a flash, he ran to the loo
Laces untied, fell over his shoe
Head first into some pot plants
He stood and dusted himself off
He stood and dusted himself off
Which caused him to give a great cough
He stood and dusted himself off
Which caused him to give a great cough
He started to sneeze
He stood and dusted himself off
Which caused him to give a great cough
He started to sneeze
Rasping and wheeze
He stood and dusted himself off
Which caused him to give a great cough
He started to sneeze
Rasping and wheeze
Till he exploded with a loud ”poff”
There once was a girl from Australia
There once was a girl from Australia
Who lived in a thirty foot trailer
There once was a girl from Australia
Who lived in a thirty foot trailer
Not a neighbour in sight
There once was a girl from Australia
Who lived in a thirty-foot trailer
Not a neighbour in sight
It was quiet alright
There once was a girl from Australia
Who lived in a thirty-foot trailer
Not a neighbour in sight
It was quiet alright
Till along came a tractor and baler.
As it rattled and clanged up the track
As it rattled and clanged up the track
The old train went clickety clack
As it rattled and clanged up the track
The old train went clickety clack
But as soon as it was gone
As it rattled and clanged up the track
The old train went clickety clack
But as soon as it was gone
The Hi Fi was turned on