I started to weep and to moan
Then I dialled 999 on my phone
Two coppers turned up
With a flask of tea and a cup
And their GSD had a huge bone.
I said “Should your dog eat while at work?”
I said “Should your dog eat while at work?”
“Of course, it’s his daily perk”
I said “Should your dog eat while at work?”
“Of course, it’s his daily perk”
“He’s looking quite fat!”
I said “Should your dog eat while at work?”
“Of course, it’s his daily perk”
“He’s looking quite fat!”
“Bet he couldn’t chase a cat!”
I said “Should your dog eat while at work?”
“Of course, it’s his daily perk”
“He’s looking quite fat!”
“Bet he couldn’t chase a cat!”
“So get him on a diet you berk.”
Out in the garden and it’s started to rain
Out in the garden and it’s started to rain
I was cutting the grass, oh what a pain!
Out in the garden and it’s started to rain
I was cutting the grass, oh what a pain!
Back indoors in the warm
Out in the garden and it’s started to rain
I was cutting the grass, oh what a pain!
Back indoors in the warm
Seems these days it’s the norm
Out in the garden and it’s started to rain
I was cutting the grass, oh what a pain!
Back indoors in the warm
Seems these days it’s the norm
And half hour in my armchair I shall gain.
While queuing for his cheeseburger bun
While queuing for his cheeseburger bun
He put down his bag, which weighed a ton
While queuing for his cheeseburger bun
He put down his bag, which weighed a ton
Quick as a flash it was nicked
While queuing for his cheeseburger bun
He put down his bag, which weighed a ton
Quick as a flash it was nicked
By an escaped convict
While queuing for his cheeseburger bun
He put down his bag, which weighed a ton
Quick as a flash it was nicked
By an escaped convict
Who was brandishing a gun
The alarm was raised
The alarm was raised
Because the convict was crazed
The alarm was raised
Because the convict was crazed
But he’d legged it up the alley
The alarm was raised
Because the convict was crazed
But he’d legged it up the alley
Where he bumped into aunt Sally
The alarm was raised
Because the convict was crazed
But he’d legged it up the alley
Where he bumped into aunt Sally
But wasn’t the slightest bit fazed.
When Mary went to the shop
When Mary went to the shop
To get a tasty lamb chop
When Mary went to the shop
To get a tasty lamb chop
But on seeing the queue
When Mary went to the shop
To get a tasty lamb chop
But on seeing the queue
She did a turn shaped like a U