Limericks. (New)

[Barry]

The gardener was mowing the park
But it soon became far to dark
So he put on his lights

[EZ_Rider]

The gardener was mowing the park
But it soon became far too dark
So he put on his lights
And his much warmer tights

[Mups]

The gardener was mowing the park
But it soon became far too dark
So he put on his lights
And his much warmer tights
But then he heard a dog bark.

Then it latched its jaws on his bum

[EZ_Rider]

Then it latched its jaws onto his bum
You could hear him for miles yelling "MUUUUM!

[paula]

Then it latched it’s jaws onto his bum
You could hear him for miles yelling "MUUUUM!
So mum ran to help

[Last_Tango]

Then it latched it’s jaws onto his bum
You could hear him for miles yelling "MUUUUM!
So mum ran to help
Then the dog gave a yelp

[Barry]

Then it latched it’s jaws onto his bum
You could hear him for miles yelling "MUUUUM!
So mum ran to help
Then the dog gave a yelp
And the gardener’s buttock went numb.

Down to the doctor’s they sped

[Judd]

Down to the doctor’s they sped
As the gardener’s arse bled

[Mups]

Down to the doctor’s they sped
As the gardener’s arse bled
The dog wagged his tail

[Mups]

Down to the doctor’s they sped
As the gardener’s arse bled
The dog wagged his tail
As he eyed-up a female

[Barry]

Down to the doctor’s they sped
As the gardener’s arse bled
The dog wagged his tail
As he eyed-up a female
But by this time the gardener was dead.

At trial, the dog entered his plea

[paula]

At trial, the dog entered his plea
“It was dark, and I couldn’t see”

[Barry]

At trial, the dog entered his plea
“It was dark, and I couldn’t see”
“So why then did you bite him?”

[Judd]

At trial, the dog entered his plea
“It was dark, and I couldn’t see”
“So why then did you bite him?”
“Cos he kicked me on the shin.”

[Tubby]

At trial, the dog entered his plea
“It was dark, and I couldn’t see”
“So why then did you bite him?”
“Cos he kicked me on the shin.”
“So I bit the bit nearest to me”

One night I was plighting my troth

[EZ_Rider]

One night I was plighting my troth
But my beer had far too much froth

[Mups]

One night I was plighting my troth
But my beer had far too much froth
It all stuck to my chin

[Tubby]

One night I was plighting my troth
But my beer had far too much froth
It all stuck to my chin
So I couldn’t begin

[EZ_Rider]

One night I was plighting my troth
But my beer had far too much froth
It all stuck to my chin
So I couldn’t begin
To say “Darling, you look like a goth”.

The following day when I awoke

[Barry]

The following day when I awoke
I coughed, and started to choke