Limericks. (New)

While watching catch-up TV
I fancied a hot cup of Tea
So I put the tv on pause

While watching catch-up TV
I fancied a hot cup of Tea
So I put the tv on pause,
locked all windows and doors

While watching catch-up TV
I fancied a hot cup of Tea
So I put the tv on pause,
locked all windows and doors
And sat by the Christmas tree.

Why are adverts always the same

Why are TV adverts always the same
With the ridiculous things they claim

Why are TV adverts always the same
With the ridiculous things they claim
It’s to make you buy things you don’t need

Why are TV adverts always the same
With the ridiculous things that they claim
It’s to make you buy things you don’t need
And manufacturers greed

Why are TV adverts always the same
With the ridiculous things that they claim
It’s to make you buy things you don’t need
And manufacturers greed
And they give jobs for the BAME

Am sat down with a nice glass of port

Am sat down with a nice glass of port
and a few nice cheeses to sort

Am sat down with a nice glass of port
and a few nice cheeses to sort
With a nice cheddar cheese

Am sat down with a nice glass of port
and a few nice cheeses to sort
With a nice cheddar cheese
To enjoy as I please

Am sat down with a nice glass of port
and a few nice cheeses to sort
With a nice cheddar cheese
To enjoy as I please
not as others may think that I ought!

From LTP I’ve been formally evicted,

From LTP I’ve been formally evicted,
Not kicked out, just restricted

From LTP I’ve been formally evicted,
Not kicked out, just restricted
Just ignore them my girl

From LTP I’ve been formally evicted,
Not kicked out, just restricted
Just ignore them my girl
And give us a whirl

From LTP I’ve been formally evicted,
Not kicked out, just restricted
Just ignore them my girl
And give us a whirl
And then we can get them convicted. :slight_smile:

I wonder what makes men snore

I wonder what makes men snore
Dunno. I’ve never heard one before

I wonder what makes men snore
Dunno. I’ve never heard one before
Don’t women do it too?

I wonder what makes men snore
Dunno. I’ve never heard one before
Don’t women do it too?
Yes, I’m sure that they do

I wonder what makes men snore
Dunno. I’ve never heard one before
Don’t women do it too?
Yes, I’m sure that they do
But a man’s is more like a roar. :lol:

I raise a glass to you all this night

I raise a glass to you all this night
And I hope your New Year is filled with light