Then along came a big brown Hare
Being chased by an angry bear
Loo paper in hand
It wasn’t going as planned
Folks came out their igloos to stare.
The Eskimos ran for their bows
The Eskimos ran for their bows
And some skis to put on their toes
The Eskimos ran for their bows
And some skis to put on their toes
The bear he was fast
The Eskimos ran for their bows
And some skis to put on their toes
The bear he was fast
But his speed couldn’t last
deleted
The Eskimos ran for their bows
And some skis to put on their toes
The bear he was fast
But his speed couldn’t last
But he hurried before he froze.
The Hare had hidden down a hole
[quote=“Mups, post: 2002593”]
The Eskimos ran for their bows
And some skis to put on their toes
The bear he was fast
But his speed couldn’t last
But he hurried before he froze.
(Sorry folks, I’m changing the previous beginning if I may) 
As Ted sat in the cafe supping tea
As Ted sat in the cafe supping tea
A woman came and sat on his knee
As Ted sat in the cafe supping tea
A woman came and sat on his knee
Without so much as a by your leave
As Ted sat in the cafe supping tea
A woman came and sat on his knee
Without so much as a by your leave
Her hefty bulk she did heave
As Ted sat in the cafe supping tea
A woman came and sat on his knee
Without so much as a by your leave
Her hefty bulk she did heave
And squashed poor Ted like a flea.
Taken aback, Ted looked up
Taken aback, Ted looked up
As the tea spilled out of his cup
Taken aback, Ted looked up
As the tea spilled out of his cup
As it dripped to the floor
Taken aback, Ted looked up
As the tea spilled out of his cup
As it dripped to the floor
Red knickers, he saw
Taken aback, Ted looked up
As the tea spilled out of his cup
As it dripped to the floor
Red knickers, he saw
So he shouted for some backup.
“Help me please, I really can’t shift”
“Help me please, I really can’t shift,
This bird with the enormous midriff”
“Help me please, I really can’t shift,
This bird with the enormous midriff”
She’s squashed all me plums
“Help me please, I really can’t shift,
This bird with the enormous midriff”
She’s squashed all me plums
And my packet of wine gums
“Help me please, I really can’t shift,
This bird with the enormous midriff”
She’s squashed all me plums
And my packet of wine gums
And I’m starting to feel a bit miffed!
The management came straight away
The management came straight away
And towed Miss Midrift away