When Bertie came home for his tea
He said I’ve been stung by a bee
She said That’s a pain
Bert smiled with disdain
When Bertie came home for his tea
He said I’ve been stung by a bee
She said That’s a pain
Bert smiled with disdain
And made a nice pot of tea.
Then suddenly the doorbell went
Then suddenly the doorbell went
It was the bailiffs chasing the rent
Then suddenly the doorbell went
It was the bailiffs chasing the rent
“I’ll pay yer next week”
Then suddenly the doorbell went
It was the bailiffs chasing the rent
“I’ll pay yer next week”
Bailiff said “what a cheek”
Then suddenly the doorbell went
It was the bailiffs chasing the rent
“I’ll pay yer next week”
Bailiff said “what a cheek”
Bert said “Well me money’s all spent”
The bailiffs took Bert’s TV
The boys were playing cricket
The ball went up the trouser leg
And hit the middle wicket
You been on the Red Bull, Speedy? 
We’re supposed to follow on from the previous person’s line!
Now, where were we . .
Judd said:
The bailiffs took Bert’s TV
Along with his front door key
The bailiffs took Bert’s TV
Along with his front door key
They said “We’ll be back”
The bailiffs took Bert’s TV
Along with his front door key
They said “We’ll be back”
“So don’t hit the sack”
The bailiffs took Berts TV
Along with his front door key
They said " We’ll be back"
“So don’t hit the sack”
“We’re bringing a cage for the Monkey”
The Monkey said " Oh no you’re not!"
The Monkey said " Oh no you’re not!"
“Clear off you “ dot dot dot dot !!
The Monkey said " Oh no you’re not!"
“Clear off you “ dot dot dot dot !!
Up the curtains he ran
The Monkey said " Oh no you’re not!"
"Clear off you “dot dot dot dot!”
Up the curtains he ran
To escape from the man
The Monkey said " Oh no you’re not!"
"Clear off you “dot dot dot dot!”
Up the curtains he ran
To escape from the man
But, despite his efforts, he was caught.
Off to the zoo he was sent
Off to the zoo he was sent
Not happy, but still he went
Off to the zoo he was sent
Not happy, but still he went
The journey was long
Off to the zoo he was sent
Not happy, but still he went
The journey was long
He sang a rude song
Off to the zoo he was sent
Not happy, but still he went
The journey was long
He sang a rude song
Though didn’t know what it meant.
Meanwhile Flo fancied fish & chips