Limericks. (New)

Stand by for the rain and the snow
Well it is winter y’know
Cold days ahead
Spend longer in bed?

Stand by for the rain and the snow
Well it is winter y’know
Cold days ahead
Spend longer in bed?
While the icy cold winds do blow.

Bert fancied a curry for tea

Bert fancied a curry for tea
Flo said " Don’t force that hot stuff on me"!

Bert fancied a curry for tea
Flo said " Don’t force that hot stuff on me"!
‘You know I get wind’

Bert fancied a curry for tea
Flo said " Don’t force that hot stuff on me"!
‘You know I get wind’
So the curry she binned

Bert fancied a curry for tea
Flo said " Don’t force that hot stuff on me"!
‘You know I get wind’
So the curry she binned
And made a cheese omelette with glee.

Bert, well he wasn’t best pleased

Bert, well he wasn’t best pleased
But a new idea he then seized

Bert, well he wasn’t best pleased
But a new idea he then seized
‘I’ll hide in the shed’

Bert, well he wasn’t best pleased
But a new idea he then seized
‘I’ll hide in the shed’
Or take my curry to bed

Bert well he wasn’t best pleased
But a new idea he then seized
“I’ll hide in the shed”
Or take my curry to bed
Cos my Flo just hates to be teased.

Poor Flo said " I know what i’ll do

Poor Flo said " I know what i’ll do
I’ll make Bert a vegetable stew

Poor Flo said " I know what i’ll do
I’ll make Bert a vegetable stew
Then the veg she did had dug

Poor Flo said " I know what i’ll do
I’ll make Bert a vegetable stew
When the veg she did had dug
Complete with fat slug

Poor Flo said " I know what i’ll do
I’ll make Bert a vegetable stew
Then the veg she did had dug
Complete with fat slug
Were chopped up neat like you do.

As she stirred it all in the pot

As she stirred it all in the pot
she said to the slug ‘that’s yer lot’

As she stirred it all in the pot
she said to the slug ‘that’s yer lot’
As she added some spice

As she stirred it all in the pot
she said to the slug ‘that’s yer lot’
As she added some spice
Which she thought would suffice

As she stirred it all in the pot
she said to the slug ‘that’s yer lot’
As she added some spice
Which she thought would suffice
And it looked very nice, she thought.

When Bertie came home for his tea

When Bertie came home for his tea
He said I’ve been stung by a bee

When Bertie came home for his tea
He said I’ve been stung by a bee
She said That’s a pain