A couple of gherkins was bought
Though the mood in the chippy was fraught
The chips were clap-cold
So the chippy was told
A couple of gherkins was bought
Though the mood in the chippy was fraught
The chips were clap-cold
So the chippy was told
And the next day all new staff were sought.
All the new staff started next day
All the new staff started next day
But soon had a dispute about pay
All the new staff started next day
But soon had a dispute about pay
Zero hours contract? No way!
All the new staff started next day
But soon had a dispute about pay
Zero hours contract? No way!
We’ll strike for more they say
All the new staff started next day
But soon had a dispute about pay
Zero hours contract? No way!
We’ll strike for more they say
And with that - they all walked away.
The old sailor sat watching the sea
The old sailor sat watching the sea
With his great grandson on his knee
The old sailor sat watching the sea
With his great grandson on his knee
“See that ship, out in the bay?”
The old sailor sat watching the sea
With his great grandson on his knee
“See that ship out in the bay?”
“I’m sure it’s coming this way”
The old sailor sat watching the sea
With his great grandson on his knee
“See that ship out in the bay?”
“I’m sure it’s coming this way”
“Can’t wait, Granda, 'cos I need to pee.”
So off to the loo they did trot
So off to the loo they did trot
The little lad pee’d quite a lot
So off to the loo they did trot
The little lad peed quite a lot
Right into his shoe
So off to the loo they did trot
The little lad peed quite a lot
Right into his shoe
Then he wanted a poo
So off to the loo they did trot
The little lad peed quite a lot
Right into his shoe
Then he wanted a poo
No toilet paper, Granda was distraught.
You’ll have to wait till we’re home
You’ll have to wait till we’re home
Best hurry, no stopping to roam
You’ll have to wait till we’re home
Best hurry, no stopping to roam
And if luck’s on our side
You’ll have to wait till we’re home
Best hurry, no stopping to roam
And if luck’s on our side
We can still save our pride
You’ll have to wait till we’re home
Best hurry, no stopping to roam
And if luck’s on our side
We can still save our pride
Using paper ripped out of a tome
Bonfire night could be off so it seems
Bonfire night could be off so it seems
So I’ll console myself with some custard creams
Bonfire night could be off so it seems
So I’ll console myself with some custard creams
And some Yorkshire Parkin and a jacket spud