Limericks. (New)

Whatever’s the matter my friend
My back hurts, and now I can’t bend
"Then better go see the quack
He’ll fix your sore back

Whatever’s the matter my friend
My back hurts, and now I can’t bend
"Then better go see the quack
He’ll fix your sore back
On that you can depend

So off to the doc’s he went

So off to the doctors he went
His energy levels near spent

So off to the doctors he went
His energy levels near spent
Have you got a cure

So off to the doctors he went
His energy levels near spent
Have you got a cure
Not if you’re poor

So off to the doctors he went
His energy levels near spent
Have you got a cure
Not if you’re poor
He admitted he hadn’t a cent.

“Then I cannot treat you” Doc said

“Then I cannot treat you” Doc said
“You’d best get yourself home to bed”

“Then I cannot treat you” Doc said
“You’d best get yourself home to bed”
But he felt like a pamper

“Then I cannot treat you” Doc said
“You’d best get yourself home to bed”
But he felt like a pamper
So purchased a hamper

“Then I cannot treat you” Doc said
“You’d best get yourself home to bed”
But he felt like a pamper
So purchased a hamper
And it was a really good spread.

Aggie really enjoyed a good read

Aggie really enjoyed a good read
And she also enjoyed a good feed

Aggie really enjoyed a good read
And she also enjoyed a good feed
So with Kindle in hand

Aggie really enjoyed a good read
And she also enjoyed a good feed
So with Kindle in hand
A quiet night was planned

Aggie really enjoyed a good read
And she also enjoyed a good feed
So with kindle in hand
A quiet night was planed
But first a slice of pizza she’d need

Aggie tossed and turned all night long

Aggie tossed and turned all night long
Her spicy pizza had proved too strong

Aggie tossed and turned all night long
Her spicy pizza had proved too strong
She dashed to the loo

Aggie tossed and turned all night long
Her spicy pizza had proved too strong
She dashed to the loo
Not knowing what else to do

Aggie tossed and turned all night long
Her spicy pizza had proved too strong
She dashed to the loo
Not knowing what else to do
And quickly ripped off her thong.

Just then there was a knock at the door

Just then there was a knock at the door
But her knickers were still on the floor

Just then there was a knock at the door
But her knickers were still on the floor
She ran down with bum bare