Limericks. (New)

A witch took a ride on her broom
Then crashed into Judd’s living room
She made a right mess
And scattered his Chess

A witch took a ride on her broom
Then crashed into Judd’s living room
She made a right mess
And scattered his Chess
And with clenched fist shouted out “Boom”

On her broom she yelled “up and away”

On her broom she yelled “up and away”
I couldn’t persuade her to stay

On her broom she yelled “up and away”
I couldn’t persuade her to stay
She flew through the night

On her broom she yelled “up and away”
I couldn’t persuade her to stay
She flew through the night
To give some children a fright

On her broom she yelled “up and away”
I couldn’t persuade her to stay
She flew through the night
To give some children a fright
Then had a kip in some hay.

She slept and had a strange dream

She slept and had a strange dream
She was floating along on a stream

She slept and had a strange dream
She was floating along on a stream
When a toad stopped and said

She slept and had a strange dream
She was floating along on a stream
When a toad stopped and said
I thought you were dead

She slept and had a strange dream
She was floating along on a stream
When a toad stopped and said
I thought you were dead
At least that was my little scheme.

She said “I’m calling the cops!”

She said " I’m calling the cops!"
And at that, off the toad hops

She said " I’m calling the cops!"
And at that, off the toad hops
With the widest of grins, it said

She said " I’m calling the cops!"
And at that, off the toad hops
With the widest of grins, it said
“You should fly off Beachy Head”

She said " I’m calling the cops!"
And at that, off the toad hops
With the widest of grins, it said
“You should fly off Beachy Head”
If you like belly flops.

So off the cliff he did dive

So off the cliff he did dive
Good grief! Did he stay alive?

So off the cliff he did dive
Good grief! Did he stay alive?
He swam off to France

So off the cliff he did dive
Good grief! Did he stay alive?
He swam off to France
For a croissant perchance?

So off the cliff he did dive
Good grief! Did he stay alive?
He swam off to France
For a croissant perchance?
Or to meet up with his lover named Clive.

So outside the bistro in Calais

So outside the bistro in Calais
With Clive he was getting real pally

So outside the bistro in Calais
With Clive he was getting real pally
He professed “Clive, Je t’adore”