Limericks. (New)

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3561

The judge said now what have we here
Are you putting all this down to beer?

3562

The judge said now what have we here
Are you putting all this down to beer?
He said I’m sorry m’lud

3563

The judge said now what have we here
Are you putting all this down to beer?
He said I’m sorry m’lud
My cellphone battery’s dud

3564

The judge said now what have we here
Are you putting all this down to beer?
He said I’m sorry m’lud
My cellphone battery’s dud
The judge said sarcastically, oh dear.

The prisoner was taken to the cells

3565

The prisoner was taken to the cells
Where Sid the Strangler dwells

3566

The prisoner was taken to the cells
Where Sid the strangler dwells
He was scared, that’s no lie

3567

The prisoner was taken to the cells
Where Sid the strangler dwells
He was scared, that’s no lie
Cos nobody wants to die

3568

The prisoner was taken to the cells
Where Sid the strangler dwells
He was scared, that’s no lie
Cos nobody wants to die
And as well as that - it smells.

Bert saw a man thumbing a lift

3569

Bert saw a man thumbing a lift
As the cars sped past he became a bit miffed

3570

Bert saw a man thumbing a lift
As the cars sped by he became a bit miffed
What’s wrong with these folk

3571

Bert saw a man thumbing a lift
As the cars sped by he became a bit miffed
What’s wrong with these folk
Are they playing a joke?

3572

Bert saw a man thumbing a lift
As the cars sped by he became a bit miffed
What’s wrong with these folk
Are they playing a joke?
I need to get home rather swift.

There was a young fella from Leeds

3573

There was a young fella from Leeds
Who tripped up and spilled all his seeds

3574

There was a young fella from Leeds
Who tripped up and spilled all his seeds
The birds all swept down

3575

There was a young fella from Leeds
Who tripped up and spilled all his seeds
The birds all swept down
Which caused him to frown

3576

There was a young fella from Leeds
Who tripped up and spilled all his seeds
The birds all swept down
Which caused him to frown
As he’ll have nothing now growing 'cept weeds.

So now back to the store he sped

3577

So now back to the store he sped
As he needed to refill his shed

3578

So now back to the store he sped
As he needed to refill his shed
But the shop had no more

3579

So now back to the store he sped
As he needed to refill his shed
But the shop had no more
So the customer swore

3580

So now back to the store he sped
As he needed to refill his shed
But the shop had no more
So the customer swore
And gave him a punch in the head

Now that really upset poor old Bert