Limericks. (New)

They trudged along, thumbing a lift
No-one stopped so they were a bit miffed

They trudged along, thumbing a lift
No-one stopped so they were a bit miffed
So they hopped on a train

They trudged along, thumbing a lift
No-one stopped so they got a bit miffed
so they hopped on a train
to get out of the rain

They trudged along, thumbing a lift
No-one stopped so they got a bit miffed
so they hopped on a train
to get out of the rain
And their journey back home was swift.

At Bingo, Bertha had a big win

At Bingo, Bertha had a big win
But had to share it with Beryl Flynn

At bingo, Bertha had a big win
But had to share it with Beryl Flynn
That will buy me a dress

At bingo, Bertha had a big win
But had to share it with Beryl Flynn
That will buy me a dress
Said best friend Jess

At bingo, Bertha had a big win
But had to share it with Beryl Flynn
That will buy me a dress
Said best friend Jess
And a case of decent gin

So off to Oddbins she went

So off to Oddbins she went
This will be money well spent

So off to Oddbins she went
This will be money well spent
I’ll get some bottles for hubby

So off to Oddbins she went
This will be money well spent
I’ll get some bottles for hubby
Despite him being quite tubby

So off to Oddbins she went
This will be money well spent
I’ll get some bottles for hubby
Despite him being quite tubby
Then maybe he’ll be nice, and relent.

Y’see, we had such a row last night

Y’see, we had such a row last night
It could have turned into a fight

Y’see, we had such a row last night
It could have turned into a fight
He just flops in that chair

Y’see, we had such a row last night
It could have turned into a fight
He just flops in that chair
As if he don’t care

Y’see, we had such a row last night
It could have turned into a fight
He just flops in that chair
As if he don’t care
But one day I’m sure he’ll see the light!

How the dogs barked at the postie one day

How the dogs barked at the postie one day
He got quite a shock, I must say

How the dogs barked at the postie one day
He got quite a shock, I must say
He leapt out of his skin

How the dogs barked at the postie one day
He got quite a shock, I must say
He leapt out of his skin
Hid behind a bin

How the dogs barked at the postie one day
He got quite a shock, I must say
He leapt out of his skin
Hid behind a bin
When I saw him, he looked quite grey.

Alf thought he’d try shopping online