Limericks. (New)

General Chat Games
3421

I bought a new hoover last week
The carpets were beginning to reek
So I gave it a go

3422

I bought a new Hoover last week
The carpets were beginning to reek
So I gave it a go
And what d’ya know

3423

I bought a new Hoover last week
The carpets were beginning to reek
So I gave it a go
And what d’ya know
Everywhere looks really sleek.

Fred knew he was putting on weight

3424

Fred knew he was putting on weight
Due to putting too much on his plate

3425

Fred knew he was putting on weight
Due to putting too much on his plate
So he made up his mind

3426

Fred knew he was putting on weight
Due to putting too much on his plate
So he made up his mind
A slimming club he’d find

3427

Fred knew he was putting on weight
Due to putting too much on his plate
So he made up his mind
A slimming club he’d find
In the hope that his girth would abate

Off to his first class he did go

3428

Off to his first class he did go
Bumped into an old flame called flo

3429

Off to his first class he did go
Bumped into an old flame called Flo
She was now a size ten

3430

Off to his first class he did go
Bumped into an old flame called Flo
She was now a size ten
And was now known as Ben

3431

Off to his first class he did go
Bumped into an old flame called Flo
She was now a size ten
And was now known as Ben
Fred wondered just what was below?

“What happened to your hubby?”, asked Fred

3432

“What happened to your hubby?”, asked Fred
“He snuffed it while asleep in his bed”

3433

“What happened to your hubby?”, asked Fred
“He snuffed it while asleep in his bed”
“Did you use a pillow, or pills?”

3434

What happened to your hubby?", asked Fred
“He snuffed it while asleep in his bed”
“Did you use a pillow, or pills?”
“Had you both made your wills?”

3435

What happened to your hubby?", asked Fred
“He snuffed it while asleep in his bed”
“Did you use a pillow, or pills?”
“Had you both made your wills?”
“Mind your own business” flo said

“Okay then” said Fred, please yourself

3436

Okay then” said Fred, please yourself
With that attitude you’ll be left on the shelf

3437

Okay then said Fred,please yourself
With that attitude you’ll be left on the shelf
Just see if I care

3438

Okay then said Fred,please yourself
With that attitude you’ll be left on the shelf
Just see if I care
I inherited more than my share

3439

Oops! too late!

3440

Okay then said Fred,please yourself
With that attitude you’ll be left on the shelf
Just see if I care
I inherited more than my share
And it’s all for only my self.

So Fred got up and sat with Sal