Limericks. (New)

By now quite a crowd were there
But alas, Percy’s parts were all bare
He stared at the crowd

By now quite a crowd were there
But alas, Percy’s parts were all bare
He stared at the crowd
Standing erect and proud

By now quite a crowd were there
But alas, Percy’s parts were all bare
He stared at the crowd
Standing erect and proud
Not even a blush - did he care?

One of the ladies passed out

One of the ladies passed out
Heart all a flutter no doubt

One of the ladies passed out
Heart all a flutter no doubt
Not in a long while

One of the ladies passed out
Heart all a flutter no doubt
Not in a long while
Had she had such a big smile

One of the ladies passed out
Heart all a flutter no doubt
Not in a long while
Had she had such a big smile
So she gave him a wink and a pout.

They pulled Percy out of the hole

They pulled Percy out of the hole
With the crowds getting out of control

They pulled Percy out of the hole
With crowds getting out of control
Are you feeling all right

They pulled Percy out of the hole
With crowds getting out of control
Are you feeling all right
You look such a sight

They pulled Percy out of the hole
With crowds getting out of control
Are you feeling all right
You look such a sight
That reminds me I need a flagpole

At this Percy thought deary me

At this Percy thought deary me
Was my willy all they could see?

At this Percy thought deary me
Was my willy all they could see?
He blushed and looked down

At this Percy thought deary me
Was my willy all they could see
He blushed and looked down
Then he said, with a frown

At this Percy thought deary me
Was my willy all they could see
He blushed and looked down
Then he said, with a frown
Well willy, now it’s just me and thee

Percy strode off down the road

Percy strode off down the road
Hoping to share his heavy load

Percy strode off down the road
Hoping to share his heavy load
When a thought sprang to mind

Percy strode off down the road
Hoping to share his heavy load
When a thought sprang to mind
Take a drink to unwind

Percy strode off down the road
Hoping to share his heavy load
When a thought sprang to mind
Take a drink to unwind
So he popped in ‘The Dog & Toad.’

“A pint of bitter please, Fred”

“A pint of bitter please, Fred”
“But no, I’ll have a whisky instead”