I asked him where he was born
Braunston, he said with a yawn
“Where the heck is that” I replied
I asked him where he was born
Braunston, he said with a yawn
“Where the heck is that” I replied
All innocent like and wide eyed
I asked him where he was born
Braunston, he said with a yawn
“Where the heck is that” I replied
All innocent like and wide eyed
It’s where my dad’s condom was torn
You could say that I’m a come be chance
You could say that I’m a come be chance
Then he seemed to go off in a trance
You could say that I’m a come be chance
Then he seemed to go off in a trance
How could that happen?
Will leave that for someone to else to rhyme, EZ. 
You could say that I’m a come be chance
Then he seemed to go off in a trance
How could that happen?
Well his body seemed to flatten
You could say that I’m a come be chance
Then he seemed to go off in a trance
How could that happen?
Well his body seemed to flatten
And he started to do a weird dance.
People looked at him all agog
People looked at him all agog
When he rolled like a freshly cut Log
People looked at him all agog
When he rolled like a freshly cut Log
Then spun on his head
People looked at him all agog
When he rolled like a freshly cut log
Then spun on his head
Then collapsed in a heap…dead!
People looked at him all agog
When he rolled like a freshly cut log
Then spun on his head
Then collapsed in a heap…dead!
He looked like a big brown Hog.
Bert decided to wash his new car
Bert decided to wash his new car
Before he would venture too far
Bert decided to wash his new car
Before he would venture too far
But the car was much too tall
Bert decided to wash his new car
Before he would venture too far
But the car was much too tall
Either that or Bert was too small
Bert decided to wash his new car
Before he would venture too far
But the car was much too tall
Either that or Bert was too small
Which he thought was rather bizarre.
But undaunted he found the old steps
But undaunted he found the old steps
And while drinking a can of Schweppes
But undaunted he found the old steps
And while drinking a can of Schweppes
He picked up the hose
But undaunted he found the old steps
And while drinking a can of Schweppes
He picked up the hose
Then picked his nose
But undaunted he found the old steps
And while drinking a can of Schweppes
He picked up the hose
Then picked his nose
But he always was inept
Heading off to the mine one morn