Limericks. (New)

Sue could tell he felt very cross
But she couldn’t really give a toss
He was merely a man

Sue could tell he felt very cross
But she couldn’t really give a toss
He was merely a man
But with a beard and a tan

Sue could tell he felt very cross
But she couldn’t really give a toss
He was merely a man
But with a beard and a tan
But Sue already fancied her boss!

Sue’s boss said she could call him James

Sue’s boss said she could call him James
But only when they were playing sexy games

Sue’s boss said she could call him James
But only when they were playing sexy games
Cos his real name was Pete

Sue’s boss said she could call him James
But only when they were playing sexy games
Cos his real name was Pete
Who was never discreet

Sue’s boss said she could call him James
But only when they were playing sexy games
Cos his real name was Pete
Who was never discreet
And who always had an eye for the dames

Word about Pete soon got around

Word about Pete soon got around
So his good name was no longer sound

Word about Pete soon got around
So his good name was no longer sound
He said “Surely that’s libel?”

Word about Pete soon got around
So his good name was no longer sound
He said “Surely that’s libel?”
My behaviour is primal

Word about Pete soon got around
So his good name was no longer sound
He said"Surely that’s libel?"
My behaviour is primal
I will sue someone soon i’ll be bound!

Pete hired someone good with the law

Hi Twink

Pete hired someone good with the law
Erudite but a cmplete bore.

Pete hired someone good with the law
Erudite but a complete bore.
But aren’t these law bods always the same

Pete hired someone good with the law
Erudite but a complete bore
But aren’t these law bods always the same
Out to make money that’s the aim of their game

Pete hired someone good with the law
Erudite but a complete bore
But aren’t these law bods always the same
Out to make money that’s the aim of their game
So Pete left, and walked out the door.

When I went on my hols to Port Quin

When I went on my hols to Port Quin
I met someone who looked like my twin

When I went on my hols to Port Quin
I met someone who looked like my twin
With crooked nose and furrowed brow

When I went on my hols to Port Quin
I met someone who looked like my twin
With crooked nose and furrowed brow
I said “I think we’re related somehow”

When I went on my hols to Port Quin
I met someone who looked like my twin
With crooked nose and furrowed brow
I said “I think we’re related somehow”
Though I thought he looked very thin.

I asked him where he was born

I asked him where he was born
Braunston, he said with a yawn