While on holiday in Wales I saw
A man who looked like the traitor Haw Haw
But it turned out to be Ken Clarke
Who looks better in the dark
While on holiday in Wales I saw
A man who looked like the traitor Haw Haw
But it turned out to be Ken Clarke
Who looks better in the dark
He was drinking a beer through a straw.
Then I queued at the ice cream van
Then I queued at the ice cream van
Holding a large bowl of bran
Then I queued at the ice cream van
Holding a large bowl of bran
For bran and an ice cream cone
Then I queued at the ice cream van
Holding a large bowl of bran
For bran and an ice cream cone
Might make me run for the ‘throne’
Then I queued at the ice cream van
Holding a large bowl of bran
For bran and an ice cream cone
Might make me run for the ‘throne’
You’d best get there as quick as you can
Having a think while sat on the bog
Having a think while sat on the bog
Wondering if I’d had too much grog
Having a think while sat on the bog
Wondering if I’d had too much grog
or, perhaps, too much food
Having a think while sat on the bog
Wondering if I’d had too much grog
or, perhaps, too much food
But then, without being crude
Having a think while sat on the bog
Wondering if I’d had too much grog
or, perhaps, too much food
But then, without being crude
As usual I blamed the dog.
Bert was in the shop up the road
Bert was in the shop up the road
Where he had purchased a big heavy load.
Bert was in the shop up the road
Where he had purchased a big heavy load
He struggled and heaved
Bert was in the shop up the road
Where he had purchased a big heavy load
He struggled and heaved
And at last achieved
Bert was in the shop up the road
Where he had purchased a big heavy load
He struggled and heaved
And at last achieved
A Hernia, and that’s not allowed.
A hospital Porter from Crewe
A hospital Porter from Crewe
Made his way up to ward 22
A hospital Porter from Crewe
Made his way up to ward 22
But when he got there
A hospital Porter from Crewe
Made his way up to ward 22
But when he got there
His doc was nowhere
A hospital Porter from Crewe
Made his way up to ward 22
But when he got there
His doc was nowhere
But there was a nice nurse called Sue.
Sue could tell he felt very cross
Sue could tell he felt very cross
But she couldn’t really give a toss