Limericks. (New)

One night as Nell rocked in her chair
Totally nude and without a care
She smiled as she thought

One night as Nell rocked in her chair
Totally nude and without a care
She smiled as she thought
Suppose I get caught

One night as Nell rocked in her chair
Totally nude and without a care
She smiled as she thought
Suppose I get caught
I would never live down the affair!

I would be so embarrassed thought Nell

I would be so embarrassed thought Nell
And my neighbours would give me hell

would be so embarrassed thought Nell
And my neighbours would give me hell
So I’d better be wise

would be so embarrassed thought Nell
And my neighbours would give me hell
So I’d better be wise
Especially given my size

I would be so embarrassed thought Nell
And my neighbours would give me hell
So I’d better be wise
Especially given my size
And try not to let such thoughts dwell.

When the postman knocked on Flo’s door

When the postman knocked on Flo’s door
He couldn’t believe what he saw

When the postman knocked on Flo’s door
He couldn’t believe what he saw
For the milkman stood there

When the postman knocked on Flo’s door
He couldn’t believe what he saw
For the milkman stood there
And was completely bare

When the postman knocked on Flo’s door
He couldn’t believe what he saw
For the milkman stood there
And was completely bare,
His letters and clothes strewn on the floor.

Blushing now, embarrassed and coy

Blushing now, embarrassed and coy
Milky felt as embarrassed as a young boy

Blushing now, embarrassed and coy
Milky felt as embarrassed as a young boy
But Flo had a big smile

Blushing now, embarrassed and coy
Milky felt as embarrassed as a young boy
But Flo had a big smile
As she plucked her clothes from the pile

Blushing now, embarrassed and coy
Milky felt as embarrassed as a young boy
But Flo had a big smile
As she plucked her clothes from the pile
And fished out her favourite sex toy.

She ran upstairs to get dressed

She ran upstairs to get dressed
While the milkman felt happy and blessed

She ran upstairs to get dressed
While the milkman felt happy and blessed
But the coalman liked Flo

She ran upstairs to get dressed
While the milkman felt happy and blessed
But the coalman liked Flo
And fancied a go

She ran upstairs to get dressed
While the milkman felt happy and blessed
But the coalman liked Flo
And fancied a go
So took off his pants & his vest.

Flo was now getting free free coal & cream

Flo was now getting free free coal & cream
And she felt she was living a dream