Limericks. (New)

The little green man joined in the fray
But gravity held him back, his feet felt like clay
He knew all was lost

The little green man joined in the fray
But gravity held him back, his feet felt like clay
He knew all was lost
When to the ground he was tossed

The little green man joined in the fray
But gravity held him back, his feet felt like clay
He knew all was lost
When to the ground he was tossed
So back to his spaceship and away.

Deep in the woods lived a Troll

Deep in the woods lived a Troll
Who thought he would dance round a pole

Deep in the woods lived a Troll
Who thought he would dance round a pole
But after the first few steps

Deep in the woods lived a Troll
Who thought he would dance round a pole
But after the first few steps
He tore his triceps

Deep in the woods lived a Troll
Who thought he would dance round a pole
But after the first few steps
He tore his triceps
It’s what you may call an own goal

The troll had a wife name of Clare

The troll had a wife name of Clare
Who was inclined to spit and swear

The troll had a wife name of Clare
Who was inclined to spit and swear
And the louder she got

The troll had a wife name of Clare
Who was inclined to spit and swear
And the louder she got
She didn’t give a jot!

The troll had a wife name of Clare
Who was inclined to spit and swear
And the louder she got
She didn’t give a jot!
She was surely a right gobby mare

Meanwhile in a nice shady spot

Meanwhile, in a nice shady spot
Somewhere to smoke his pot

Meanwhile, in a nice shady spot
Somewhere to smoke his pot
A fairy flew by

Meanwhile, in a nice shady spot
Somewhere to smoke his pot
A fairy flew by
Quite low in the sky

Meanwhile, in a nice shady spot
Somewhere to smoke his pot
A fairy flew by
Quite low in the sky
And he thought it a lucky mascot.

In the wood lived a hog and a bat

In the wood lived a hog and a bat
And the bat wore a really strange hat

In the wood lived a hog and a bat
And the bat wore a really strange hat
The bat took the mick

In the wood lived a hog and a bat
And the bat wore a really strange hat
The bat took the mick
But really looked slick

In the wood lived a hog and a bat
And the bat wore a really strange hat
The bat took the mick
But really looked slick
And the hog ran away with a rat!

Cycling’s a good way to keep fit

Cycling’s a good way to keep fit
Twice a day’s fun, but that’s it