Limericks. (New)

His wife said now listen to me
Why are you being so beastly?
It’s really unfair

His wife said now listen to me
Why are you being so beastly?
It’s really unfair
And seems you don’t care

His wife said now listen to me
Why are you being so beastly?
It’s really unfair
And seems you don’t care
Please hand that frock over to me!

The alien’s weird, peering eyes flashed red

The alien’s weird, peering eyes flashed red
A little annoyed at what his wife had just said

The alien’s weird, peering eyes flashed red
A little annoyed at what his wife had just said
He began turning green

The alien’s weird peering eyes flashed red
A little annoyed at what his wife had just said
He began turning green
Try to picture the scene

The alien’s weird peering eyes flashed red
A little annoyed at what his wife had just said
He began turning green
Try to picture the scene
As he sat with his hands in his head

Just then a bright light lit the sky

Just then a bright light in the sky
Just happened to catch my eye

Just then a bright light in the sky
Just happened to catch my eye
‘Twas an alien craft

Just then a bright light in the sky
Just happened to catch my eye
'Twas an alien craft
Shaped a bit like a raft

Just then a bright light in the sky
Just happened to catch my eye
'Twas an alien craft
Shaped a bit like a raft
And oh so quick did it fly.

Then a little green man baled out

Then a little green man baled out
He was short and extremely stout!

Then a little green man baled out
He was short and extremely stout!
He yelled " Hands up you lot!"

Then a little green man baled out
He was short and extremely stout!
He yelled " Hands up you lot!"
“I have a ray gun and you will be shot”

Then a little green man baled out
He was short and extremely stout!
He yelled “Hands up you lot!”
" I have a ray gun and you will be shot"
" And you’ll die, of that there’s no doubt!"

I thought for a moment then yelled back

I thought for a moment then yelled back
“No chance fatso, there’s something you lack,”

I thought for a moment then yelled back
" No chance fatso, there’s something you lack"
He… she… or it…started to cry

I thought for a moment then yelled back
" No chance fatso, there’s something you lack"
He… she… or it…started to cry
Then tried to spit in my eye

I thought for a moment then yelled back
" No chance fatso, there’s something you lack"
He… she… or it…started to cry
Then tried to spit in my eye
Whilst I delivered a hefty whack!

The little green man joined in the fray

The little green man joined in the fray
But gravity held him back, his feet felt like clay