Limericks. (New)

The ambulance arrived horns a blaring
As he lay there cursing and swearing
A crowd then appeared

The ambulance arrived horns a blaring
As he lay there cursing and swearing
A crowd then appeared
The paramedics they cheered

The ambulance arrived horns a blaring
As he lay there cursing and swearing
A crowd then appeared
The paramedics they cheered
As the neighbour stood there staring.

I’m cooking some Salmon for tea

I’m cooking some Salmon for tea
I got it from a friend, it was free

I’m cooking some Salmon for tea
I got it from a friend, it was free
Washed down with white wine

I’m cooking some Salmon for tea
I got it from a friend, it was free
Washed down with white wine
It’ll sure taste divine

I’m cooking some Salmon for tea
I got it from a friend, it was free
Washed down with white wine
It’ll sure taste divine
But not enough for you and for me.

The weekend has arrived yet again

The weekend has arrived yet again
And they are finally forecasting rain

The weekend has arrived yet again
And they are finally forecasting rain
I really hope not

The weekend has arrived yet again
And they are finally forecasting rain
I really hope not
I’m going out on my yacht

The weekend has arrived yet again
And they are finally forecasting rain
I really hope not
I’m going out on my yacht
Sod the lockdown, I’m off to Spain!

Two old gents, discussing their years

Two old gents, discussing their years
Very soon brought the two to tears

Two old gents, discussing their years
Very soon brought the two to tears
Talked of times past

Two old gents, discussing their years
Very soon brought the two to tears
Talked of times past
And of lives lived full blast

Two old gents, discussing their years
Very soon brought the two to tears
Talked of times past
And of lives lived full blast
Now off for a couple of beers

An alien from space had a shock

An alien from space had a shock
When confronted by our old mate Spock

An alien from space had a shock
When confronted by our old mate Spock
He just teleported down with McCoy

An alien from space had a shock
When confronted by our old mate Spock
He just teleported down with McCoy
And landed in the City of Troy

An alien from space had a shock
When confronted by our old mate Spock
He just teleported down with McCoy
And landed in the City of Troy
Then minced off home wearing a frock

His wife said now listen to me

His wife said now listen to me
Why are you being so beastly?