A group of old-ish Gents, what a heady mix, it’s all good, providing we don’t start smelling like an unattended “Gents”.
What is/was a “Wash & Brush up” anyway?
BTW, there are no gents conveniences anymore Spitty down here in the south, they’ve all been sold & have had built on them retirement homes & student accomodation flat blocks.
Any suggestions for names for these developments…
Sweet Pea Mews
or
Nolearningis Everwasted
or
Convenient Cottage
( I must have something molre important to be doing than typing this drivel)
There is nothing more important than communication, and typing Dribble.
This thread has had undue scrutiny today, this has to stop.
Infamy
infamy
they’ve all got it in for me
Anglia Anglia - I feel like the angles here!
Thank you indeed May, you’re a bit like meself, you value the few things in this life that help us get through it with a smile, things like humour and good manners, we might as well laugh while we can, God knows we’ll be dead long enough.;-)
And now for something about a dark rabbit
When we were boys my older brother had a pet black rabbit, he came up with the highly original name of “Darkie’ for it, a posh young lad from up the street heard about the black rabbit, had never seen one before and asked the brother could he have a look at it, fair enough we brought the young lad out to the back yard where we kept Darkie in a long hutch, Darkie had just done his business in the hutch and the little black marbles were strewn about the wooden floor. The boy was amazed to see a black rabbit for the first time and he turned to the brother and said “He looks gorgeous Tommy, but can you please tell me why Darkie isn’t eating those blackcurrants?” The poor kid hadn’t a clue what they were, the brother and me doubled up laughing… How innocent we were back then.
Many times I visited him with his family in London years afterwards, and if we were in a pub and someone was talking through their backside, he would look at me and out of the blue say “Jimmy, did Darkie ever eat those blackcurrants?” and the laughing would begin again even after all those years. God rest his soul, he was the best friend I ever had, 15 years dead and I still miss him.
I went into a gay bar back in the 70’s when gay was frowned on and kept secret, I needed to go urgently and I said to this chap sitting at the bar “Excuse me please, where’s the Gents?” “Why? do you want one?” I made my excuses and left.
How come we always end up back in the manure business? I suppose that’s what comes of writing crap, it goes around full circle.
How about “W.C. Fields and Gardens”
“Bowl in Green”
“Thomas Crapper Estate”
The Agents say all the above come with flush lawns and cracking views, I don’t believe it, it’s just a bum steer.
Did anyone know there is a standard recommended size for a Toilet Cubicle which is 850mm wide X 1500mm deep, with 450mm diameter “Maneuvering” space. Pity there ain’t a standard recommended size arse.
Standard sized arses? you’ve opened a can a worms there Spitty, some folks are very particular about the size of their bums, indeed there are those who are obsessed about the size and shape of their posterior, hence the perpetual female question “Does my bum look big in this?”
Static security guards have two deep groves on their bottoms from years of sitting on toilet bowls, my late Uncle Peter was a security man in one of the big stores in town, he was there for 40 years, the result was that his bottom evolved into two separate bums and he had to wear two pairs of underpants, well two pairs joined together, he had them specially made by a man in Ballyfermot who was sworn to secrecy, it was only after he passed away that the family found out, he was forever changing his will and the coffin had a an extra bit sticking out the side of it, when we asked the solicitor what it was he told us it was a ‘Codicil’, it seems even he was sworn to secrecy.;-)
[CENTER]I’ll be Dick
*Scroll down for relevance of my comment.
Now then, where be the twins ahiding?[/CENTER]
Your welcome to it RJ, I’m glad you didn’t make me Dick or I would have refused to play.
That’s like that Film where the robbers have to call each other by colours, nobody wanted to be Mr. Pink, can’t remember the name of it now.
I scrolled down RJ and I can’t see anything, did it come out wrong or what?
[CENTER]YERTIZ JEM[/CENTER]
Jem, if I take Dick, who will take Julian (or Sandy) Annie (get your gun) Oakley, George (Mill on the Floss (Georgina) TIMMY? they sound like a right rough crowd.
To summarise. Someone versed in Polari, 2 women aping men.Dick & a dog. Is Enid Blyton banned still?
My recommendation are Jem for julian [juliemme - the art of cutting matchsticks from big balls!]
Pug for George [always struck me as a big girls bloose!]
May can now be Annie [she’s always watching in ]
and Spittie would make a good timmy? [always romping; barking and slobbering]
I’ll do enid! oh gard blyton!
in five on a leisurely scribble
Thank you RJ for taking Dick, Bite the Bullet my friend, Gummy, timmy, that is a slobbering thought.
oh sorry meant to type sobering not slobbering - but what the hell that will do!
instead of Five we could be Skives cos that’s all we do around here - skiving around until the missus shouts!
You have something there Gummy, I have just realised, she shouts Shit, and I jump on the Shovel, let’s just wait, till the Worm Turns.
Lol,…Nutters All…You remind Me more of ‘The Goons’ than Blytons Famous Five who loved lashings of ginger beer…Methinks You lot love lashings of something stronger :-p…My Dad and three Uncles were all as daft as brushes when They got together and had us all with tears running down Our faces with Their nonsense…I miss it all and You Guys remind Me of Them…so thanks…I’ll tiptoe out now and leave You to it 
Julian whispers to Dick “ Blah blah blah…there’s our Mr. Pink problem solved, Gumbud want’s to be Enid…blah blah blah… I’ll ask the missus to get working on the flowery frock right away…blah blah blah… who’s going to make the handbag…blah blah blah…”
I couldn’t possibly work without female involvement lads, yeh need birds for this stuff.
I see they have brought out some books featuring an adult Famous Five, and very successful they have been too, £10,000,000 in sales and more planned, there’s one called “Five on Brexit Island” no kiddin’
Don’t fancy the thought of “Five do dry January”, They are after the drinkers now, God they have to get the old moral in somehow, good job the original five didn’t smoke, they’ve have been hanged if they were around today. If I’m going to be stuck with Julian, a name worse than Dick, I’m going to have me few drags behind the school shed come hell or hot water, or is that high water?
What fun !