I dined out last night, at the local upmarket Indian Restaurant, I tried their latest special “Goose Curry”, wish I hadn’t, I spent all night “Honking”.
Not me, I’m Feckless.
don’t you mean bonking?? No said Spittie I know what I mean and what I said!!
I Had a dream last night in which I was in my old job , but in a b ranch recently opened in Russia. It was requested that I give a short talk on MARKETING.
I felt confident enough to do this thing by ad libbing.
In the beginning was Gordon Selfridge,. An entre preneur possessed of great vision and power. Gordon penned the now overused rallying cry
“To be a successful retailer 5 things must be attendant.”
“You must have the RIGHT goods in the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time at the RIGHT price and in the RIGHT quantity”
After Gordon left this earthly coil some yuppy wags hijacked this perfect template by adding a 6th condition “ In the RIGHT manner, thereby creating the concept of MARKETING.
This went down very well in my dream and as a speech might have won awards had it not been for a security initiated by me. I discovered that security procedures were routinely being ignored and stock was being stolen from the goods in at an alarming rate. I was later to gather that thieving was being ignored cos the European staff employed didn’t speak a word of the local language & more to the point ignored the evidence , afraid that highlighting all these problems would be a can of worms.
Then , as the olden times NEWS OF THE WORLD reporter, came to a tense moment in his sleaze investigation “Made an excuse & left”.
WTF, I didn’t believe it then & I don’t believe it now.
NOTE TO SELF
Must stop late night snacks of cheese sandwiches.
Hey ho
Sorry to hear about your old mate Pug, I’ll say a prayer for him, who knows, the docs are not always right and miracles do happen.
Good to see you on top form RJ.
Last night I was dreaming I was Lord of the Manor back in the early 1900’s, the wife was out and I was having a good time with the chambermaid who came to do the bed, “First things first” says I with a smile. I was enjoying meself immensely when a figure peeping through the window caught my eye, it was Houndim Harry from the News of the World, I excused my Maid and left.
What’s THAT about?
Chris has been a friend-a very GOOD friend,for decades.
Why the snotty remark about him ‘pulling the plug’?
He’s fighting cancer-losing the war but winning the battles.
Leave the snotty sarcastic remarks out.
…and incidentally - I give a feck.
I can’t make my mind up about giving a Feck, I do about some stuff, and not about other stuff, then sommat happens, and I change my mind, guess some folks are just Feckle.
There seems some anger on here today.
More angst than anger…play nicely chums.
I didn’t want to mention the an…t.
and I thought we were all good mates!! - what a travesty!! angst angst and angst
pulling the plug that releases his ‘bucket list’ - hope you’re included!
read it again pugsy and inwardly digest! - I can explain it more lucidly if you wish ?? - the ozzie vernacular sometime translates differently to the brits/irish and angles?
[quote=“gumbud, post: 1115144”]
and I thought we were all good mates!! - what a travesty!! angst angst and angst
read it again pugsy and inwardly digest! - I can explain it more lucidly if you wish ?? - the ozzie vernacular sometime translates differently to the brits/irish and angles?[/QUOTE]
That’s a bit Obtuse.
obtuse is in this year!
Aww,please don’t fall out with Each other Lads,You all have Me laughing out loud with Your crazy humour every day and I’d miss it if You stopped 
then why not join in it’s not just a boys club ya know!
May,
My dear Grampy Robert had a cottage garden which he worked in with my gran Maudie at every opportunity. Ahead of their time in mixing their flowers & vegetables . At first glance these mixed plantings appeared randomly but it’s mainstream knowledge today that that growing marigolds near brassicas scared off the dreaded whitefly…other combinationds worked well also. We kids dreaded the local milk man delivering with his pretty skewbald mare. You can guess why, for it stopped outside next to the grass verge, good foodstuff & guaraqntede to get the horses digestion going.
We had to be fast though because all the neighbours rushed out with buckets & shovels. WE were to quick for them, drat our faux enthusiasm.
Grampy Bob never let a visitor go without a basket of fruit & veg and/or flowers & the encouraging words
“Now, do come back my dear, you’ll be as welcome as the flowers in May” and so we were, so we were.
You too May, pop by anytime.
Be reasonable lads, this is not a serious thread, if I wanted serious I’d take up politics or religion, plenty of other threads for that, now please kiss and make up and get on with it, life’s too short for arguing.;-)
Seeing that love is in the air, I am reminded of my first date, real official date that is.
I stood waiting at the corner, all done up to the nines
A sharp crease in me trousers, with precision lines
Glancing at the watch I got on the never never
Come on Girl why are you taking forever?
Fifteen minuted later, and still no sign of my date
Think I’ll go back home and have a drink with my mate
Then her hall door opens and she bids her Mother farewell
“Be home before twelve or your dad will give you hell”
I was meant to hear this, to fill me up with fear
And I cried back that I got the message, loud and clear.
We missed the bus into Town and stood there wondering what to do
Then she goes and tells me she’s lost the heel of her shoe
“This wouldn’t have happened if you had tried to be a little faster
Now the whole night has turned into a disaster”
We went back to her house where she changed her shoes
Went up to the local flea house where there’s never any Queues.
I said it was like Lourdes when we were inside talking
If you went in crippled you’d come out walking
I got her home at half past eleven
And that was the start of a marriage made in heaven.
You see folks what could have ended up in a row and a split up didn’t, faith took a hand and we had a good time in the old cinema, I might add the following Friday night she was bang on time.
You Guys are the ‘Famous Five’ of OFF and long may You entertain Us all with Your wit,daft poetry,and crazy tales 
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up.
The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Larry?’
‘No, ma’am, but I didn’t like to see you standing there all by yourself!’
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’
His father replied, 'Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Larry, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the milkman wants to buy Mom …’
Enid Blyton’s novels feature the adventures of a group of young children – Julian, Dick, Anne and Georgina (George) – and their dog Timmy…Uummm!
Who is who?
Thaaanks for the compliment May.