Sorry,I was busy
doing things that take my time.
Most of them annoying
and none of them that rhyme.
Some folks need to speak to the self
And dig and dust, and brush and delve
At the end of the day, they just usurp
and just juxtapose another twerp.
You are a silver tongued louche Spitty
And to think, Spitty was once a Nerker.
A veritable dummy chucker.!
I had a dummy once.
Well,I say ‘dummy’-actually,an inflatable doll.
She was forever going down on me…
Ok-loud silence descends again…
so,sod trying jokes…instead,has anyone - ANYONE - on here given a flying f#ck about that bake off thing? TGBBO,it’s apparently known as. FFS-I bake,roast,fry,steam,mix and boil all SORTS of food-and even my workmates don’t know my [real] name…but some woman bakes a cake,another woman creams her keks over it-and today,as a result,I was called a ‘caveman’…and WHY? [I hear you clamouring to ask]…WHY?
Because I had NO idea who baked what,where,when or what effing flavour it was,and I [tried to] explain that not one solitary f#ck will,shall,or could be given regarding the above…and the folk in that place TURNED on me,en masse! YERWOT? Since WHEN,did the British Public become so pathetically enamoured of maximally-exploited,minimally-produced,uninteresting,non-mind-expanding,bullshit???
Ooooh-someone made a cake-whoopee. Let’s make her a Goddess,build plinths to her.I don’t get it.
I just don’t.
My mum made HUNDREDS of cakes during her life-she got hugs,MAX love,protected,adored and venerated. What she DIDN’T get,nor want,was tv exposure,a million pounds,celebrity interviews,or her name in the papers.
But,apparently,I should “go back into the Marines and die this time”,according to one particularly odious wanker,for not knowing the name,age,religion,bust-size and eye colour of some woman who baked a cake. BAKED A CAKE! NOT cured cancer. NOT solved global warming. No-she baked a cake!
HE was EVER-so-gently reminded that he’s a wanker.
Beam me up,Scotty…FUKKAL intelligent life down here!"
[yes,I’m fkn annoyed-,I thought I didn’t ‘do’ violence any longer…I was wrong]
That’s life ennit…
“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967
There was a time when…Nah there wasn’t.
BE ALERT!!! your country needs lerts!!
I believe we have become [I do hope monetarily] a world of “reality showings” - or DUM CLUCKS masquerading as ‘realities’
live in houses; bake offs ; kids cook offs; jungle runs; race across the pond on a rubber duck; etc etc - it seems the world we live in is now too boring to keep some of us amused and we have to be placidly entertained - not even before our very eyes but through a glass onion! I blame Baird myself!
Y’know the real problem,gummy-you know it as well as I do.
24-hour non-stop tv. There are only so many hours a chap [or chappette] can sit watching nonentities do ridiculous uninteresting things in their quest for fame. Sod that. Books,guitars,radios [even CB radios] chess,sheds full of unfinished [I prefer the expression ‘mid-term’] projects,astronomy,physics,etymology,linguistics,becoming adept-if not actually conversational- in multiple languages,testing ideas,writing errant thoughts for later perusal…ALL these are worth the synaptic energy expended in their pursuit. Being enthralled by someone named Kardashian,or watching some bumnugget attempt to become a household name by not being able to point to Africa on an atlas,or being spellbound by someone you don’t know bake a cake…isn’t.
yes innit?
I too remember the days before common TV even the days before anyone had one in our street. we all amused ourselves gainfully - granted for some reason there were much larger families then??
the old folks listened to the radio and there was the odd saturday morning show thrown in for the kids ‘captain marvel’ or some such crap but we managed with the beano and dandy!
the world outside was our ‘tv’ - mind you from where we stood we could only see down two streets and not much went on anyway.
the rest of the world didn’t matter - well until monday morning geography class and then it mattered between a wrong answer and a whack or a right answer and a smirk!
but you ARE right Pugsey - we all amused ourselves young and old until the feckin tv came in and then it was like pigs to a trough - ‘leave the dishes till later - come and watch this’ and all in black and white too! - we were even able to accept that there was a b/w world somewhere besides our own colored one. [mind you the back streets of Liverpool were pretty b/w in those days!]
I usually catch the 6am news each day just to steady me nerves you understand - between then and 10am they have repeated the same feckin news over and over again just with different presenters. I think I’ll go and lay down and take a bex just now!:shock:
Erg-less folks need a Gogglebox, I think they’re fools to ignore the Joules, having said that, and worked the ethic, it’s good to relax, checkout the Cash in the Attic.
Just took some rubbish to the bin, it would have been a different would if Blooper had to chuck out the recycling.
OH dear…a flat line…
ah a flat line eh ? - are there other sorts of lines - bubbly lines; humpty lines; wavy lines; what actually defines a line - Pug lend us your mug to solve this conundrum. must a line be flat - and if not why is robert sporting a flat line which in fact is not a feckin line it’s a row of dots - well maybe he’s just gone dotty again - /////////////////// - are these flat lines tower of pisa like - and when we got 200 lines to write for detention why was that a line?
now there is line up over here ; a line drawn in the sand ; the lines maketh the man and can we have a line of lions??
and is a silver lining required to be straight or an it squiggle?
I think this has become a rather linear problem - thank you RJ - we might call you the witchata lines man!!
See, as you get old, you don’t know where to draw the line, and you can end up stopping for ages, at a Give Way line.
Lines make the best graphs, bar none
Blooper is a good metaphor, for a geezer trying to bin some internet forum stuff, yer put it in the bin, and it just keeps coming back at yer.
Greetings fellow scribblers, I never thought I’d have to say this but I did miss you old goons, but then I always get sentimental around this time, and fair dues to you all you never fail to make me smile, thank you.
I won’t bore you by talking about work, just to say that I’m finished now till next year, all done and paid for and everyone’s satisfied. I haven’t been near a computer for weeks nor have I been out for a pint, I find it best to focus totally on the jobs until the end, so it was out to the shed early in the morning, in for my meals, then at the end of the day a few glasses of port for fortification and maybe an hour of TV.
I have an idea of how Moses felt as he came down from the mountain, knackered after his 40 days of praying for sinners, it is written that when he came down and seen his flock adoring the golden calf he uttered in anger “Oh God, in your infinite wisdom, how can you just sit there on your ass tronomical throne and let this happen to me”
I have a lot to catch up on here so I’ll see you soon, right now I’m off for a few well earned pints.