Are you suggesting “Never mind the quality, feel the Width”.:surprised:
are YOU suggesting that you’ve lost the quality but still have some width?
isn’t that’s what the sailor said to the vicars daughter?
That was in the days of the Sailors Discharged Seamen in the Vicars Daughters Navel Base.
BTW, it is impossible to lose anything on this rotating ball of rock, nothing added, nothing taken away.
See Gummy, you need to answer a simple question, do we agree that a roll of Kitchen Towel is bigger than a roll of Toilet Paper, if yes, then why does the cardboard inner of the Kitchen Roll, fit inside the cardboard inner of the Toilet Paper, it makes no sense.
What,pray,is this ‘toilet paper’ of which you so eloquently speak,spitty?
Is it akin to ‘crispy sock’,but,perchance,easier to fold?
Nothin as complicated as that, as a matter of urgency, I needed a random shite, so rushed to the downstairs bog, did the business and bollocks, no toilet paper, just cardboard inners, so went to the kitchen, clingons intact, but multipack toilet tissue already in the upstairs loo, so grabbed the “plenty one Shit”, ripped each sheet in half as not to block the bog up, and was just left with the inner, which I compared with the expensed loo roll inners and made an observation, so much more valid than shooting a load into a sock, don’t you think.
As Donald TRump famously said
“What the hell is going on?” (sic)
Did you all notice that,dear readers? Hmm?
Our young Mr Spitfire was engaged in colon evacuative procedures in the ‘DOWNSTAIRS’ loo. Ooooh,get him,eh?
Ol’ Pug just legs it to the ‘bucket-and-chuckit’ at the bottom of the paddock,there to sit engrossed,reading cut up pages of the 1963 Daily Sketch [and if you remember the Sketch,you is OLD,squire] by candlelight.
So,one can but presume my mate spitty lives in one of they new-fangled houses,with taps and lectrickery and heating already installed.
Ahhhh,the wonders of a tin bath in front of the fire,filled with hot water brought in saucepans from the Rayburn in the kitchen,as one soaks happily whilst listening to ‘The Clitheroe Kid’…halcyon days…
Spans, maybe that is it, this span, has seen much, previous spans have seen less, future spans should see more, but maybe not, the elephant in the room maybe Spandex.
sounds like a lot of spit;fire and bollocks to me!:shock:
Sorry, don’t do the word B*****ks anymore, no longer wax spherical.
try wax lyrical may help ya singin voice??:shock:
Singing voice?
Ohhh,yes-one recalls a certain ‘Esther & Abi Ofarim’ performing ‘Yodel Lady’.
[at least,at the time,that’s what I thought they were singing]
She was rather…errm…‘cute’,whereas one didn’t fancy her singing partner at all. Ok,I admit that’s somewhat sexist of me-but,I pays me money and I takes me choice.
In this case,the owner of the X chromosomes won. By a mile.
That’s the X Factor, in operation. Seat seat seat.
Oh,I say…‘X Factor’…good call,young spitfire…WELL done that man!
As I sit here gazing at my hands,guess what I can see?
I see tattoos I really wanted,that were once so dear to me.
But when I saw them finished,there was a ripping of my sole.
For the tattooist was dyslexic-my knuckles read ‘HEAT’ & ‘VOLE’
Two days have passed seems folks can’t be arsed
to make an entry here
Don’t let another 2 days go past
(can’t think of an ending)
‘or all you’ll see is RJ’s rear’…
I do keep popping to see who’s said what-but it seems this thread is slowly dying. DAYS between new post arriving,nobody to speak to,nobody to exchange crudities and light-hearted banter with…nobody even acknowledging my presence on their planet.
Ignored,forgotten,overlooked,considered inconsequential,beneath contempt,to be avoided. All these and more,were the overwhelmingly lonely,self-destructive realisations fleeting through my braincell as I contemplated the eerie,friendless silence all about me. Nobody speaking to me,not one soul even curtly acknowledging I exist,not even a brief nod,as I sat alone in the crowd…so I got off the bus.
if you keep making comments like that you won’t need to think of an ending - we will arrange it!!
there was a young fellow from Hants
who was always scratching his pants
when the doctor said ‘fleas’, the young man just sneezed
then said well I thought them possibly ants!
Hmmmm…
I’ll do my best
If follows the rest
To jot something here
without favour or fear
Telling the whole truth
(as I see it)
seizing lost youth
(now an old git)
Pug, Gumbud & RJ
Are here to stay?
JEM,where are you?
we need your news
thats my bit for today
how i see it, anyway
more to come
need to get off me bum
need inspiration
not just perspiration
the end
my friends