OI!
Who are you calling ‘inventive’,eh?
WELL’ARD,as you crouch silently behind your screen,AIN’TCHA!
I’ll have you know,there’s NUFFINK ‘inventive’ about me,Sunbeam.
I,pal,am as intelligent as any moron here-so WOTCHIT,moosh!
INNIT,tho!
the old four wheel wagon continues to roll along - in the drivers seat is a pug with a mug; ridin shot gun the man with the fire that spits ; on forced vacation the man with an eye glass for gems; pulled along from the rear the man in a wheel chair shouting warp ten for JR and the buddie with the gums sits among the gumbuds in the tray.
Occasionally they pull over for a pee, a billy boil and a bit of chewin the fat of this and that.
they’re called the leisurely squirrrrrrrrrrels!
S’all well ‘n’ good bro-but I notice I get to do all the driving.
Funnlee nuff,yesterday one of the escort cops was sat in the cab having a brew with me as we waited for paperwork to clear before heading out and over-and-over,he kept saying things like “Bloody Hell,it’s big in here” because he could stand without crouching and take four steps across the cab. The other thing that amazed him was having two gearsticks. He must’ve asked fifty questions concerning how I know what gear I’m in,what if I need to multi-shift,how do the low/high splitters work,etc,etc for around 45 minutes. Nice bloke,good at his job-but I was VERY glad he was driving an automatic BMW and was going to be out of my way. Does make a fellow wonder,when a triple-A-rated driver can’t figure out how to operate a [fairly basic] gearbox…
Infamy Infamy
They’ve all got it informe.
Chums, I am much misunderstood these days.
well it’s ya own faulty boyo laddie - all those tails you’ve been spinnin about uncle vinnie etc - wots a mon to believe for goodness sake boyo? and all this wheelchair thingey - we don’t know what to make of it all - is it powered stirring or not boyo - yakkie dat to you laddie!
Thanks for that Gummy,
I have been a bit unhinged of late.
I meant no harm.
YES HE DID GUMMY<YES HE DID!
It was just last week RJ was showing me the exploding y-fronts he intended to sneak into your undies draw. AND he showed me the bananaskin slippers he’d spent days sewing together,alone in his shed as he chortled to himself,gummy! PLUS it was RJ who put the itching powder in your socks that caused you to start tap-dancing around the courtroom during your hearing. THAT was him too! AND it was RJ who put the fart-bombs in your car’s heater - he TOLE me…honest he did!
[but - I don’t wanna cause no ill-feelings,now,lads…ok?]
now now cumbria the land of the missing crumbs!
mez and RJ goes back long ways [yes and the further you two can go back the better we hear you say?] used condoms in me bathroom cupboard yes; wet toilet rolls yes; exploding cigars yes; fake wigs that glow in the dark yes BUT never all doz fings wot youz been purporting to - so get on the slow movin grader of yours and purport yourself OFF into the cumbrian mountains! and wats more I will be reportin this to our esteemed guerilla diamond merchant our Jem when he gets back - he iz comin back ain’t he? 
AW SHaddup Puggy!
Trust only your database, and don’t save any changes, let them go.
Y’know,I really like the idea of having dyslexia…I really do.
[btw-dyslexia is an anagam of ‘daily sex’]
…weeeeeell,a chap can dream,eh…deluded but happy…
Yeah wiv U there, nowt rong wiv a misspelt youf, but dyslexia iz not acseptabul if yuz on yer owm.
Good morning chums.
Good Morning RJ, revel in the Tardyism.
well i just popped in to say happy midnight from down udder - I am just fresh out of limericks at the mo - but they do have a habit - yes they do have a habit - have you ever seen a limerick in a habit? - or a habid or peruvian death mask ?
RJ we do need uncle Vinian back soon - dead or alive -
today sat midnight finished with the show “the midwife” which I enjoy immensely ; but also the show from the coliseum in london with the latest british comics!
I now live in the middle of the bush - isolated from town and feckin cannot stop folk visiting - “we thought we’d just drop in to see how you iz!”
eff off I just want peace and quiet - but still they come - I have the equivalent of uncle vinnies creeping all over - in fact I do have an uncle riccardio with many tales of valor - ah back to the drawing board!
Hi Gumbud,
How come you are out in the bush? I can see in my mind a picture of you on a shaky wooden veranda, feet up, with bush hat complete with corks, shooting casually at passing wildlife.
Snakes. Possums. Wombats et al.
My uncle Joseph (Ted) lived in Perth until he was 98, having retired from the “Met” aged 50, the only man I have known to enjoy a longer retirement than actual working years. My score is 30 working years & 21 retired. I am 68, so I have to live until I am 18 years older, i.e. 86 to top that.
As I have little desire to live that long & already have DNR tattooed on my chest & bum, it seems unlikely.
As for Uncle Vivian, he’s not my real uncle, nor is Uncle Arthur who is 97 & plays dominos with nurse Gillian & myself every Saturday afternoon. Nevertheless, I hold them both in the greatest respect and affection.
I never knew extended family, but that is good, it makes being existential easier.
One considers Solipsism once again.
One thinks there are less days to consider the possibilities regardless.
Pffft !
Only if I think so 
excuse me for picking up on the grammar
FEWER … not ‘less’