Nice one Pug, BTW.
Thankyou,good sir.
Another thing that occurred to moi-some time ago now,I must admit;
I can recall during one of the myriad halcyon days that amalgamated into what was laughingly called my ‘education’,sitting one day in history class,as Mr Dunn waffled and warbled on about great inventions and the inventors thereof. As per,I was paying minimal attention,as my mind wandered idly through untold acreages of imaginative creativity coupled with a modicum of pure inquisitiveness,that,although still in it’s unformulated stages,had already caused several moments of disbelieving incredulity for several schoolmasters. The particular formulative moment that comes to mind is that day Mr Dunn was prattling on about the invention of the wheel. Yes. keep that in mind. Now,whilst holding that scenario,cast your mind wide,that you can grasp the scene as a grotty,scruffy,genuinely interested but totally hopeless at interpersonal exchanges and the correct procedures thereof nerk,suddenly interrupted the interminable ramblings regarding how the wheel changed the world,with what,to that scruffy child,was a genuine observation. Namely…“Chunter,chunter,chunter,stone rollers,wooden rollers,trimmed away,became discs,chunter chunter BUT SIR;the bloke who invented the AXLE is the real genius-otherwise all you grown ups would be driving wheelbarrows!” [I got the cane for that]
But the sod knows I was right
Aged 12, I spoiled a physics lesson, by pre-empting the fact that Water finds it’s own level, 12 years old is a bit early too get metaphorical.
I am now realistic, I know this cos I check my Thunderball ticket numbers, before my Lotto.
I once was awarded a house point aged 11 for correctly answering the question posed by the science teacher, who we called LEADPIPE because of his penchant for sadistic beating of us boys , at random.
He reasoned that the the outside world was a capricious, unpredictable & unfair world, so we’d best get used to it.
His question was " Name a property intrinsic to water". AS the resident smartarse I offered “WATER is wet”
" Come out to the front" he bellowed.
“'Upon my soul” he announced, carving his specially sharpened thumb nail into my ear lobe.
" No one has anyone ever before said that"
“One house point”.
I bumped into him many years later at a “Stations of the Cross” Anglican Easter service.
“Hello Mr Lewington” I chirped, “I remember you from MIllbrook School”
He ran out of the church…
Footnote: WAter is wet because it is THixotropic, like snot.
Gotta say,RJ, on the whole,I prefer rheotropic fluids bro. You can’t beat freshly-whipped cream [see what I did there? Oh,I do make oi larf] on yer freshly-baked scones,bruv!
Some good words assembled for scrutiny Puggy. I had to dig out my Wingate & Schaller complete works, in addition to my much loved Funk & Wagnall American dictionary.
Uber,Uber, Uber!
Oi Oi, OI.!
Uber Uber Uber!
Oi Oi Oi!
Uber!
Oggy
Uber
Oggy
UBer Uber Uber, Oi Oi Oi!
god RJ your poetry is improving in leaps and bounds - oops their he goes again leaping and bounding along - and he can do it in a wheelchair!!:shock::shock:
" Hear him, ye deaf; his praise, ye dumb,
Your loosen’d tongues employ;
Ye blind, behold your Saviour come,
And[SIZE=“4”] leap[/SIZE], ye lame, for joy[CENTER][/CENTER]
If only I could repair the cruise control up to warp 10 speed,
I’d surely be BOUND FOR GLORY!
Well ol’ RJ the mon he iz bound for glory
He iz bound for glory; he iz bound for glory
Well ol’ RJ the mon he iz bound for glory
On dat glory train [tambarines please]
Wez gonna clap ‘im on wez gonna clap ‘im on
We gonna clap ‘im on ; on dat glory train [tambarines repeat]
Singin Allelujah ; singin Allelujah ; singin Allelujah for dat glory train!! [drum roll]
OK take it Pug with that sweet guitar solo – oh my God spittie’s on fire again!
Ok,got it on an ascending chord,using 4-2-4 as the over-rhythm and catching it with a drop-D 2-4-2 bass counter…GIMME DAT LUUUURVE!
HALLELUJAH!,etc,etc…
[btw,brother gumbud - who we gloryin’ up & singin’ about?]
Bound for Gory.[CENTER]
This expression describes my latest hobby to a T.
Basically it’s the ancient art of “Putting a ferret (or Two) down your trousers.”
Rules are very tightly adhered to; NO underpants, TIE securely rope around ankles,.
TIGHTEN belt.
I am told that veterans wear white trousers to show up blood from the bites.
THe current record holder managed to keep the unfortunate ferrets down his pants for 5 hours, before losing consciousness
What an IDIOT
Reminds me of Mr McCawber, regularly quoted as saying.
“If the law says that, then the law is an ass ,an idiot”
NO he didn’t say that
he said
“A ass A idiot” (sic)[/CENTER]
why’s Mr Pug bros - it’s dat old white fella over der wiv da blig black lips and the placard wrapped around iz neck with "Glory Bound " wrote on it!!
Oh,HIM…[y’do know he stole that hat,don’tcha!]…
oh you mean his attitude - no it was iz at he chewed it was mine!:shock:
I’ll read that again NO it wasn’t iz at he chewed it was mine!
Azzit 'appens,yer BOTH wrong-coz it was akshly a Balaclava he was munching!
Now-a kweshjun I’d like answered by yooz learned folk,iffn y’d be so kind;
Exactly WHO are the sacred folk
referred to every day;
whom,no matter what the question is
can settle it with ‘THEY’ say…?
Who are this ‘They’,of which we hear,
this ‘They’ of such fine mettle
that,no question ever asked has been
beyond their ken to settle?
The Illuminati are revered
and Masons make fine play;
the Buffs give secret handshakes,
but all whither before “They say”.
So-does anyone have an inking,
of who it is that ‘say’?
Is there a secret order known
by the nomenclature of ‘They’?
I know them quite well actually but they would kil me if I said!!:-p
Ah-yes,I had heard about their intensity regarding punishment for divulging,gumbud…apparently,anyone declared guilty of revealing the secrets of ‘They’,is sweated to death by naked,steamy maidens,who close in on him from all sides and ‘exert’ him to death over a period of several naked,steamy days of sweat-inducing activities. [must be AWFUL!]
Verily, it came to pass that they declared that the mad menacing milliner made more members maudlin morons.
drat you guys are much more inventive in your posts than I am.
I’ll just watch for a while.