I once had an unfortunate accident with a Van De Graaff Generator, and was carted off to A&E, I wasted no time in Discharging Myself.
I bought a batch of Microsoft advent calendars for Christmas last year.
Absolute crap-not one of them had W10 working properly…
Is it too late to demand a refund?
only if you kept an invoiced receipt - you know those pages on the pc that say -print this screen if you want a hard copy receipt NOW!
in the advent of an advent calendar malfunction see the big boss up there!! no not bill gates - peter at the golden gate 
I find this hard to credit,but on my blood,it’s totally true.
[if I can figure out how,I’ll get the email onto here]
I emailed apple,asking how much to unlock an iphone.
I got an email this morning saying it would cost a bit and take time before they could start,as they get a lot of nonces wanting their iphones unlocked!
Ohhhh,boy-I ripped STRAIGHT in. I lost my daughter,the worst way possible.
If I EVER meet the perverted piece of shit responsible-his name is Derek Robinson-I’ll kill him where he stands…or in that gutless spineless c#nt’s case,grovels. Yet I get some Apple employee keyboard hero,uber-brave in his keyboard anonymity,telling me I must be a nonce if my iphone has locked.
unlock an iphone - no duplicate key - naughty puggy!!
heh and who the f…d locked the f…n phone in the first place - not as simple as we first thought Holmes!! not another angliafile surely?
Puggy, you need to tell Apple, there is no “I” in Phone.
maybe the apple ‘pips’ are missing too??
Tomorrow [2nd Oct] I go to put flowers on Ella’s grave and sit with her.
My daughter,loved then,loved now,loved for eternity.
Thankyou,gentlemen.
I haven’t heard back from apple.
I’m not surprised…
Respect you chum.
condolences 
Just dropped in to for a quick hello and to let you know I’m still in the land of the living.
I’m up to me eyeballs in work at present and I reckon I won’t be finished until early in November, the son of my last employer has asked me to do some personalised jewellery pieces for his most valued customers, his dad was very good to me in the old days and that’s the only reason I’m doing this, there is also the fact that there’s good money in personalised stuff, not to be sneezed at.
I’m too knackered when I come out of the workshop to have any interest in anything, not even the racing or a few pints, it’s a bed to work and work to bed thing so I’ll just stick with the work until it’s finished then have a big splash out and go mad with meself, reminds me of me old days before Christmas on piecework, I thank God (and all the good Guinness i’ve drank over the years:-)) that I still have the ability and the energy to do the work.
I’ll send you all over a bottle of the finest Sandemans Port when I’m done so look after yourselves dear friends.
I did wonder where you were Jem, glad you’re ok 
Jem, you and others need to jump on the Bandwagon, more often, or, is it that there only one Trumpeter.
thank you for all your invaluable contributions Jem - we’ll be in touch when we need more money! and we are planning a leisurely scribbles group hug sometime [well how on earth can you have a hug without a group?]:surprised:
It can give folks a cause to gasp and wheeze
If someone’s so busy to push a few keys
One can work seven days a week
But still find time to Chat and Speak
It can be that someone has nothing to say
Then put nowt into words, in a poetic way
Have a Dig, or a Knock, or a bit of a Crack
Or give folks an excuse, to shut up their trap.
I think working with jewels requires precision handling and meticulous handwork and straining of the eyes - so at the end of the the old keyboard and screen just become a blur!
there was an old jeweler called Jem
who would work off his butt for a dime
he was known to use tweezers; must NOT get the sneezers
or all of his jewels would decline
or something like that
Jem, dear boy, take care & come back when you are ready.
Little bits of mineral and rock
travel by air,by land and by briny.
The reason for this,
tho’ it seems so far-fetched
is that humans love things that are shiny.
Humans dig holes going far underground
searching for carbon to wear.
Then,when they find it,they cut it all up
to make trinkets,so others will stare.
Another silly thing is the soft metal stuff
that humans will fight for,or steal.
It cannot be eaten or made into clothes
So it’s not half as much use as a wheel.
Yet,just give the average human the chance
to decide which one,as a gift,they prefer;
Then just stand back and watch as the melee takes place
…yep,humans are weird -I concur. 
I like Shiny, been fascinated by it, guess I’ll have to join the club.