I know, but, when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to Go.
Mr Crapper wouldn’t agree with ya - and who was it who said “blessed is he who craps - for crap is the fruit of the earth”?
I wouldn’t mind betting, if you strip away all the wealth, accidentally accumulated, providing a basic Human commode-ity, to the masses, “Crapper”, was just a “Regular” Guy.
The Lady Lies
The man steps out in the moonlight
At the sound of a scream from below.
He thinks he is a warrior
So he picks up his sword and goes.
From the mouth of the monster
He rescues the maiden fair.
But we know she’s a demon
Come to lure him to demon’s lair.
Through restless foliage and tall trees he leads
To a house in a clearing, a place in her fear she calls home.
“Come with me, I need you,
I fear the dark and I live all alone.
I’ll give you wine and food too
And something special after if you like.”
And though his body bids him
To enter in with her,
There was something in her manner
That his mind could not ignore.
Also it is whispered
In the kingdom far and wide,
To beware a little cottage
In the forest in a glade.
For who knows what magic takes place in his world?
So he just thanks her kindly preparing to go on his way.
"Come with me, I need you,
I fear the dark and I live all alone.
I’ll give you wine and food too
And something special after if you like.
Come to my garden,
Taste the fruits and the spices of love.
You can’t resist me,
I’m the kind that your dreams tell you of."
“So glad you could make it
We had everything arranged.
So glad you saw fit to pay a call.”
Some men never listen,
And others never learn,
But why this man did as he did
Only he will ever know.
He knew he was walking
Into a waiting trap,
Neatly set up for him
With a bait so richly wrapped.
So he went inside there to take on what he found
But he never escaped them, for who can escape what he desires?
“Come with me, I need you,
I fear the dark and I live all alone.
I’ll give you wine and food too
And something special after if you like.”
That’s a long one Spiitola…
About six minutes I do believe, just think how valuable they will be at the end, retrospectively, a post best skipped.
A fate befitting all of mine
Yes Gummy, we’ve come a long way since the tenement days of yore, when the silence of the night would be broken with the odd shout of “Bring up the bucket Nellie”. Then you had the gent’s toilets in the city centre with six foot high urinals and the word 'Shanks" staring you in the face, who was Mr Shanks anyway? was he a rival of Crapper? Or was he the chap who married a horsed faced woman, hence the saying “Shank’s Mare”, don’t mind me, I’m only pulling your chain.
Can’t find the “Twyfords Vitromant Song” anywhere.
thanks for that SP you’ve lightened our loads - heavy stuff around hear at the moment we need to move upwards and onwards!!
Well, I found what Spitty was looking for!
But decided no:mrgreen:
Let him suffer:mrgreen:
What about “The Queen came up to Liverpool”
Nah na nah nah nah na.
Just found “Summer With The Monarch”, it’s only a matter of time with the Toilet One.
I was gonna post a long diatribe contain toilet humour but today in our retirement home we have suffered fire and flood and trouble with the over 90s wing
beam me up spotty
I cannot leave you lot for five minutes before this thread is steered back onto bogs!!!
Sorry about your troubles young Robert.
If that Spitty starts on those youtube vids, he won’t get a Shanks from me:-D
Can we not dream of summer, when we can expose our feet in the hot sun?
NO not you lot!
It has been a very long time since I have knelt down in front of the pan. Oh, the pains of drinking Pernod in my youth! :shock:
The thirst that followed! One glass of water and one is drunk once more!
Those days are long gone. These days a few glasses of vino, and I need my sleeps.
I am keeping an eye on you guys.
I had a go at the Pernod in my younger days, If I remember it had a peppermint type flavour and it changed colour when you added ice to it, I was fascinated by this transformation, but I thought I might had been given a bad one so I tried to call the barman, but he would Pernod attention to me.
Never understood why they have silent ‘D’s’ and ‘X’s’ in the English language.
I once went into a posh cake shop here in Dublin, there is a brand of cakes far better than that Kipling fella makes, it’s called “Gateaux” and I always pronounce my ‘X’s’ so I says can I have a swiss roll by Gateaux, he pulled me up on my pronunciation saying “It’s Gatooooo, the X is silent, shall I put it in a box for you?” No, you needn’t bother your ballo"
My God, I think I need a lie down again.:-)
Love it Jem:-D
Pernod is yellow, I think it turned white when lemonade is added:confused:
It tastes like aniseed!:shock:
I wondered where Spitty got his username:confused:
Now I know:-D
